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With such trademark calls as, “With a kiss,” “A little lingerie on the deck,” and “Onions!,” Bill Raftery has solidified himself as one of the most electrifying college basketball announcers to ever don a headset.
At 74 years old and with 33 years in the biz, Raftery is without a doubt an alumnus of the old school. And like many of his old school classmates, he doesn’t have much of an active social media presence. But, as he recently revealed to Sports Illustrated writer Jimmy Traina, his hesitation to flex those Twitter fingers has nothing to do with an aversion to newfangled technology. It’s got a lot more to do with his late-night boozing habits.
For prudence’s sake, this is probably the best move. I know that whenever I’m a couple homemade old fashioneds deep (congrats to me for being a fancy boy), some of the shit I decide to send out into the twitterverse would probably be best left unsaid.
*Stephen A. Smith voice* HOWEVA, we need a drunk and unfiltered Bill Raftery on Twitter for the same reason that we need to give Bill Walton and his stoned ass as much screen time as possible: pure, unadulterated entertainment value. Just imagine what kind of pithy hot takes and fire flames commentary a schmammered Raftery could offer? I need to know his opinions on everything. Sports, politics, pop culture; everything.
So if I may come to you with this plea directly, Mr. Raftery: Cast aside the fear of saying something that would cost you your job. I’m sure you have job security for days. When you’re on your 10th scotch neat tonight, go ahead and download the Twitter app. Then, pick a solid Twitter handle (@FromTheRaftery would be my first choice, but I’m sure you can think of something better). Next, for your inaugural tweet, you’ll want to really make an impression. Don’t think too hard about it, though. Maybe just a simple “Onions!” will do. But whatever you decide to go with, just type it into the ol’ Twitter box and then finally… send it in, Bill!
Image via Wikimedia Commons