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Last Year’s 5-7 Texas Longhorn Football Team Made More Money Than Most Of The NFL

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I’ve been in Austin for 2+ years now, and it seems I still haven’t fully grasped how big of a cash cow Bevo truly is. Despite being a wildly mediocre 41-35 program since Colt McCoy’s arm inexplicably turned into a boiled noodle during their national championship loss to Alabama and having a game day atmosphere comparable to that of a Tour event at DKR, business is a-booming for Texas Longhorn football.

Charlie Strong, his 5 core values, and their 5-7 record brought in $121M in revenue last season, and pocketed over $91M in profit. That was nearly $25M in front of the second biggest money making operation in the NCAA, Alabama, and more than 25 of the 32 teams in the most lucrative business in all of sports, the NFL.

I believe we’ve finally found something that’s actually too big to fail. Charlie Strong could pull down his pants and drop a steamy log on the Longhorn logo at the 50-yard-line before forfeiting each game at the coin toss and UT would somehow still manage to bring in a 75 percent profit margin.

This must be what Scientology is like. Fans (cult members) hand over their money each year to half-heartedly go through the motions questioning why they’re wasting their time to begin with. They repeat this vicious cycle until they finally die from a rage-induced stroke.

“Hook ’em Horns.” But not too loudly or while standing up. There’s other people around you that paid good money to watch the game in silence, you inconsiderate asshole.

[via UCribs]

Image via Youtube

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

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