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From Fox News:
A Pittsburgh woman has been jailed on charges she attacked her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend and other women with a knife and a brick at a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant during a party for her son.
The knife part doesn’t really surprise me. I assume everyone at a Pittsburgh area Chuck E. Cheese has a switchblade anyway. But the brick? This bitch meant business. Did she bring it in her purse, was she so filled with rage that she ripped it out of the wall and started beating her baby daddy’s new girlfriend with it? There are so many important, unanswered questions here.
The only way this fight could have been more white trash is if the woman had ripped the banjo from the hands of whatever animatronic animal was holding it and starting swinging it at her victims. Generally when there’s an unusual crime you can count on seeing it imitated in the upcoming season of Law and Order. I’m pretty sure you’ll see this crime featured in the next season of Squidbillies.
Also I doubt anyone who works at a Chuck E. Cheese would describe this crime as “unusual.” I figure most of the time when this happens the Chuck E. Cheese manager goes home at night, sits alone at his computer, sighs, uploads the security footage to Reddit, and titles the post “Had Another Knife Fight in the Ball Pit Today.”
[via Fox News]