Eight grams of Molly and an 8-ball of cocaine? Odds are good that I’m lying naked and dead in a motel room after trying to break the Guinness World Record for how many drugs you can snort off a prostitute’s ass.
However, in Vegas, that amount of drugs means you and your teammates are in for a good time. Kings center/Erin Andrews plower Jarret Stoll was arrested back in April at MGM Grand with a shit ton of Molly and cocaine in his swim trunks.
His life is basically over now. He’s out of a job forever. He’s going to jail for life. He’ll never see the light of day. Have fun getting ass blasted by Zdeno Chara-looking convicts.
Wait. No. I forgot. He’s rich.
Stoll is instead facing just one felony count of possession of a controlled substance relating to the cocaine.
Kings center Jarret Stoll was charged with one felony count of cocaine possession Monday, two months after he was arrested poolside at a Las Vegas hotel.
I’m not a scientist, but how do you get $800-worth of MDMA to disappear from your charges? Also, what’s the name and contact information for your lawyer? Also, while I’m here, can I borrow some money/Molly/cocaine?
I’ll take my answer off the air.
If convicted, Stoll faces up to four years in jail or probation. He’ll get probation..
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