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If this headline confuses you, it’s possibly because your memory bank tells you that Kim Jong-un once mandated that all North Korean males get the iconic KJU white wall haircut, and that’s because he did exactly that three years ago. Now, amid heightened foreign tensions and international headline-grabbing nuclear weapon testing, it’s being reported that he has laid sole claim to his hairstyle and has outlawed it for all others in North Korea.
Kim Jong-un has forbidden citizens of the hermit kingdom from having the same haircut as him, it has been claimed.
A list of allegedly state-mandated styles was snapped by a journalist inside the heavily controlled state.
But despite many styles sporting shaved side styles, the list does not contain the style made famous by nuclear weapon wielding warmonger Kim Jon-un.
The Finnish reporter, who is believed to have snapped the approved list while visiting the Pyongyang for the ‘Day of the Sun’ celebrations, claimed the barber gave him the “best shave and head massage I have ever had”.
He added: “North Korean men can choose between 15 approved haircut styles.
Imagine the power. Imagine the narcissism. Imagine the gall. Imagine living in a society so backwards that your trusted leader very literally calls dibs on a fucking haircut. A HAIRCUT. And yeah I mean it is a fire haircut, but still, he took a break from plotting a nuclear attack on the United States to basically copyright a HAIRCUT.
He’s the best, isn’t he? I mean, he’s the literal worst, but he’s the best, right? You want to keep a country in line, you make them fear for their lives and give them a list of 15 pre-approved haircuts they can wear. That’s a nation who asks “how high?” when you tell them to jump..
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