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Kim Jong-un Blacked Out, Scolded Military Officials, Called Them Old, Made Them Cry, Was Pleased

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Did he do it again or did he do it again? This guy never ceases to amaze me. By the way, this whole admiration thing started out as a semi-joke, but now I legitimately full on love and support Kim Jong-un. Just an amazing man. An inspiration. You have to be willing to look past all the heinous atrocities he’s committed and tragic suffering he’s caused his people, because the man knows how to run a republic. North Korea is a well-oiled machine and Kim Jong is the mechanic.

So Kim Jong-un rips burners and might be an alcoholic, which is noteworthy because I think he’s actually the only person in North Korea allowed to drink or smoke. He’s also the only fat person, on account of the starvation his people must endure. But what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

In September, according to a Japanese press report, our boy got blacked out drunk, summoned military officials to his summer villa, scolded them for being shitty at their jobs, made them write letters of apology basically stating how shitty they are at their jobs, made them fear for their lives, woke up confused about why they were at his villa, called them old, made them cry, then was pleased.

That last sentence is a mouthful but it’s also beautiful. Someone plaque it for me.

From UPI:

A Tokyo Shimbun source in North Korea who spoke on the condition of anonymity said Kim was severely drunk in September when he ordered military veterans to write statements of self-criticism or apology.

Kim is reportedly an avid consumer of alcohol. Former Japanese sushi chef Kenji Fujimoto has said Kim once boasted of drinking 10 bottles of expensive Bordeaux wine.

The incident in September took place after Kim summoned elderly military officials to his summer villa to write letters of apology. […]

The Tokyo Shimbun source said Kim engaged in thunderous scolding and forced the officials to stay up all night to write the letters.

But the next morning, Kim appeared to be confused as he asked why the officials were in his villa.

“Why are you gathered here?” Kim allegedly said, in a sign that he did not recall his behavior the previous night.

Kim also said to the military elders, “Be careful about your health because you are all old.”

The officials then reportedly burst into tears and Kim appeared to be satisfied by the reaction, according to the source, who said, “They were relieved because they thought they were going to be purged.”

They thought he was going to have them slaughtered like pigs. Genius.

You show me a military official who stays up all night writing what is essentially their own death sentence only to be spared in the morning, and I’ll show you a military official who doesn’t fuck up anymore. Lesson learned.

Long live Kim Jong-un.

[via UPI]

Image via Shutterstock

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email:

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