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Kate Upton Named People Magazine’s Sexiest Woman Alive And I’m Just A Little Bit Confused

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Kate Upton has a beautiful face and a set of natural Hindenburgs that defy physics, but other than that, she doesn’t have a whole lot aesthetically going for her.

Can we be honest about this? She’s a model after all. She earns a living by being hot and presenting her physical self to the world to be lauded, but with admiration and acknowledgement comes judgement. Just as you’re allowed to say my articles are shit, aren’t we allowed to say Kate is a shell of her former model self? Four years ago, this award makes so much more sense. She was near perfect. But not now. I can’t be the only one to notice that her torso has taken on an amoebic-like quality.


At the PEOPLE Magazine Awards on Thursday, Upton won the award for PEOPLE’s Sexiest Woman.

“This is such an honor to me because sexy to me means someone who’s confident and happy,” said Upton, 22, as she accepted the honor at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles.

I don’t intend to say she’s not attractive. She is, undoubtedly. But when People Magazine named her the “Sexiest Woman Alive,” as in not one woman on earth is sexier than her, about five million women around the globe got ripped off, which is the number of women I estimate are sexier than Kate Upton.

Good for her, though. She’s a sweet girl, and what happened to her in The Fappening was a real shame.

I just like to remember the old Kate. Sue me.

[via PEOPLE]

Image via Shutterstock

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email:

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