Kanye’s New Song “Lift Yourself” Is Actually Fire

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“Poopity scoop, scoopdiddy whoop, whoop, di scoop, di poop, poop di scoop di scoop di whoop, whoopidy scoop woop poop, poop diddy whoop scoop, poop! Poop! Scoop diddy whoop, whoop diddy scoop, whoop diddy scoop poop.”

These fascinating series of nonsensical phrases are the lyrics to Kanye West’s latest single “Lift Yourself.” When I first heard this song, my only thoughts were, “Oh, word, Kanye’s totally fucking insane now. You hate to see it.”

Kanye’s public crash landing into early onset dementia has been the subject of lengthy discussion in recent weeks. I personally could not care less. If Ye’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic, so be it.

Not only does his mental health not affect me, it doesn’t seem to make his songs any less enjoyable, either. The man is an absolutely electric entertainer. For him, being a spectacle is part of the job. Whether or not “Lift Yourself” is the ravings of an unhinged lunatic, it’s still an infectiously catchy song.

The instrumental is phenomenal, the production value is through the roof, and the samples are clean as fuck. Aside from the questionable lyrical content, the track is an all-around banger.

I have been walking around my college’s campus for two days now muttering “poopity scoop, scoopdiddy whoop” to myself like a damn fool. I look like a schizophrenic person reciting these Doctor Suess-esque lyrics about scooping poop.

You are lying if you claim that the sentence “poop diddy whoop scoop, poop!” doesn’t make you smile, if even just a little bit.

Journalists and bloggers alike are ruthlessly lambasting this track as “poop-centric” and “scatological” — further augmenting the public narrative that Kanye West is currently going through a comical divorce from reality. It really is a damn shame that these critics can’t find it within themselves to chill the frick out and enjoy this fun new song about scoopditty whooping. Maybe they need to scoop the poop out of their own ear holes.

There is a decent chance that Kanye West could be our next president. So, from a national security standpoint, I understand why this track has drawn some public scrutiny. The CIA is probably already strategizing on how to curtail a U.S. President with a poop fetish.

Kanye is a narcissistic lunatic. He could be clinically insane. I just don’t understand why people care so much one way or the other. Why does it matter? He’s a fucking rapper. The fact that he thinks he’s Jesus and claims to have “dragon energy” only makes him more entertaining, which, by the way, is his job.

I bet the only reason he made this song was to prove that he could bank millions of dollars off of a song about poop. I respect the hustle, Kanye.

We, as a nation, gave up our right to criticize rap lyrics a long time ago. The second we let T-Pain get away with rhyming “mansion” with “Wisconsin” back in 2008 marked the day that America stopped giving a fuck about lyrics.

Rappers say wild shit all of the time. Just because you don’t understand a song, it doesn’t give you the authority to then act like an English professor all of a sudden.

Kendrick Lamar literally rhymed the word “sandwich” with the word “allowance” and he won a fucking Pulitzer Prize for it. The chorus of the song was “sit down, little bitch, be humble,” and Harvard University put a vinyl copy of his album in their library’s special collections. Way to be relatable, Harvard. They may as well have put out a press release saying, “We’re not racist! We listen to Kenneth LaMont’s rap-hop recordings!”

Kendrick’s songs contain lyrics like “If I gotta go hard on a bitch, I’ma make it look sexy.” These words make zero sense. Yet, for some reason, they have inspired every NPR podcast and Whole Foods sociologist to ceaselessly tout him as the poet laureate of our generation.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of Kendrick’s music. I’m just sick and tired of everyone parading him around like he’s some sort of visionary. He’s not. Sounding like you have drug-resistant bronchitis and refusing to speak in coherent English sentences does not make you a social activist. That’s all I’m saying.

If you have a problem with Kanye West’s new song, keep it to yourself. We as a society are well beyond the point of being able to pass judgment on what qualifies as well-crafted lyricism these days. If “Lift Yourself” offends you, you’re probably not a very fun person to be around. Lighten up a little there, bud. Stop being a buzzkill, stop taking everything so seriously, and start poop scoopity whooping a little more. You just might enjoy it.

Image via Wikimedia Commons/ Jason Persse

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