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Thieves, they’re just the worst.
From Online Athens:
A Kappa Alpha fraternity member told Athens-Clarke County police that someone entered his room at the West Hancock Avenue fraternity house and stole clothing and electronic items.
According to a police report, the burglary took place sometime Wednesday or Thursday, with the room being entered through a damaged door.
In addition to clothing, the burglary netted a watch, an iPad, a wireless router, a printer, 10 video games and five game controllers, valued at a total of $1,960.
Saying that the burglar “entered through a damaged door” is code for: “We’re thinking he chose to enter through the door that had a giant hole in it, on account of brother Williams winning a late night bet of ‘I bet you can’t run and jumpkick through Peter’s bedroom door.'”
This story got me thinking: where does a fraternity house rank in the “ballsiest” category among places to steal from? Aside from the obvious highly-guarded dwellings like the Whitehouse, a bank or the Smithsonian, the American fraternity house has got to be up there, right? It’s a house loaded with hot-headed college students that like to drink, fight, watch each others’ backs, and hunt. The perp was obviously unaware of the southern vibe of Kappa Alpha Order. It’s safe to bet the resident-to-gun ratio of the UGA KA house was about three-to-two at the time of this robbery.
Finally, another reason why robbing a fraternity house is an awful idea is because the risk-reward is simply not there. This burglar hit the absolute jackpot making off with almost two grand worth of loot. A typical heist of a college student’s room will only yield a John Belushi poster, two still-wrapped textbooks, a meal card, and a few half-empty bottles of cheap liquor.
[via Online Athens]
Image via UGA IFC