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It’s All Fun And Games At A Juggalo Party ‘Til Someone Chops Off A Girl’s Pinky With A Machete And Drinks Her Blood

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A Juggalo was arrested for using a machete to chop off the pinky finger of a female Juggalo (I believe the technical term is “Juggalette”) and drinking a shot glass full of her blood. The Juggalette claimed that she was sober and consented to the act as part of a ritual to commemorate a fallen Juggalo (technical term: “Jugga-NO-MO'”).

From WBAY:

Jonathan Schrap, 24, of Suamico is charged with “mayhem” and “reckless injury” for the incident that happened at his house on August 27, where he chopped off a friend’s pinky, gashed her arm and drank her blood—according to a criminal complaint.

The criminal complaint explains it like this:

“Shelby [Neuens] had volunteered to let Jon [Schrap] drink her blood. Jon had taken a machete and made an approximate one inch laceration on her right side forearm. She was bleeding profusely… Jon filled up a shot glass with her blood and drank her blood.”

Soon after, the group began talking about severing a finger. Again, Neuens volunteers, telling the men they could cut off her pinky. She stated that she was not using drugs or alcohol before this happened.

Once again, Schrap grabbed the machete. “Jon’s second strike with the machete took the pinky clean off,” says the criminal complaint. “All the way to the palm.”

“Jon then placed the finger in his freezer where he said he would cook it and eat it later,” the complaint continues. “The group then attempted to stop the bleeding by using a car cigarette lighter which failed. They then used a blowtorch.”

Neuns told officers that the blowtorch wounds hurt worse than her pinky being severed.

Later that night, Neuens went to her boyfriend’s house and showed him the injuries. His mother heard the story and made Neuens go to the emergency room. Staff at Saint Mary’s Hospital called police, believing she’d taken part in cult initiation.

You know, I’ve got to side with the Juggalos on this one. Not only because I’m a low key super fan of the Insane Clown Posse (Fucking magnets — how do they work?), but because the girl was sober and consenting. It just ain’t a Juggalo party until the machete’s out and the finger’s off. And if there’s any girl who would willingly let you do that, it would be her.

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She looks like a trooper is what I’m saying.

Also, I’m a firm believer in pouring one out for the homies. I’d recommend doing it with a 40, but who am I to say you shouldn’t lop off a chick’s finger and hold the stump over a shot glass until it’s full of blood? I’m not a doctor.

And it sounds to me like Schrap and this Bloody Ruckus gentleman had the sitch under control. Using a car cigarette lighter to stop the bleeding from a severed appendage is downright intuitive. Fuckin’ magic yo.

You know what the real story is here? Flagrant disrespect for the Juggalo culture. Straight up. You see these kids in their clown makeup and their dreadlocks and you don’t even stop to consider that there’s a person under there. An ill mothafuckin’ person with mad feelings, yo. Don’t get up in a ninja’s grill for something you don’t know nuthin’ about. Furreal. You know what they call bitches who do that in the Juggalo community? JugaHOES. Cuz they fake as hell son. Quit triflin’.


[via WBAY]

Image via YouTube

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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