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We could’ve never predicted the accuracy of Jameis Winston’s famous “I said, we said, I said we ‘scrong'” postgame interview. If anything, these past two weeks have taught us that the Florida State strength and conditioning coach does a helluva job.
Jimbo’s roving gang of mentally defective thugs has struck again. This time the suspect is another star player.
Warrant issued for Florida State's leading rusher Dalvin Cook, who is accused of punching a woman last month. pic.twitter.com/YbLe92Mzso
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) July 10, 2015
Coach Fisher is sure that this will be the last time, though. After OG (original genius) De’Andre Johnson was caught on video throwing away his Florida State scholarship with one blow, his buddy and battery mate Dalvin Cook figured he’d join in on the fun and repeatedly beat the crap out of some poor woman outside of yet another bar. After this latest incident, though, Jimbo came to the conclusion that something must be in the alcohol, and banned his players from going out.
Word is FSU coach Jimbo Fisher met with his team earlier today. Laid down the law; bars off limits to players. Moving forward with…
— Jim Henry (@JimHenryTALLY) July 11, 2015
As the citizens of Tallahassee celebrated the inmates return to lock-up, Cook’s alleged victim gave an interview to ESPN which lines up perfectly with everything you’d expect of a Florida State football player and the Tallahassee Police Department.
— Barrett Sallee (@BarrettSallee) July 10, 2015
Sadly, despite their best efforts, Florida State still has a few more criminal charges to go before they become legitimate contenders for the Fulmer Cup.
June FC Top11: Auburn (44), IU (29), LSU (25), So. Miss (20), ASU (16), GA So. (15), WVU (15), Temple (14), Bama (12), I.State/Clemson(10)
— The Fulmer Cup (@TheFulmerCup) July 5, 2015
Stay scrong, FSU..
Image via YouTube