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Jerry Jones Implies That He Cares More About Tony Romo Than His Wife, Probably Isn’t Joking

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Love him or hate him, you have to admit Jerry Jones is an interesting guy. The man is worth roughly $3 billion, is the owner, president and general manager of the NFL’s most valuable franchise (Dallas Cowboys, valued at $2.3 billion), has a reputation for being a less than model husband (hilarious photographic evidence of which recently surfaced), and, in general, seems totally fine with coming off as a debauched asshole.

There is no shame in Jerry’s game, and if nothing else, you have to respect that.

After starting the season 6-1, things were really looking up for Jerry, who has been taking heavy heat for refusing to relinquish total control of his team for years. That was before Tony Romo took a knee to the back, causing two fractures of his transverse process. Tony missed Sunday’s game against Arizona, resulting in back-to-back losses for the Cowboys for the first time this season.

Romo’s health is the difference between the Cowboys making the playoffs (and potentially a Super Bowl run), and missing the playoffs altogether, because his backup, Brandon Weeden, is all of the suck. The Cowboys play the Jaguars in London next week, and that’s a long plane flight, so Romo’s comfort during said flight, and availability for Sunday’s game, is obviously a concern, and was recently called into question by the media. No worries, though. Jerry has an easy fix.

“Some of those seats really make out into a nice cot, bed-type configuration,” Jones said. “He will get one of those. Gene will sit up in the bulkhead. Romo will lounge on the way over. You don’t think it’d be me, do you?”

Turning a serious question about your quarterback’s health into an opportunity to crack jokes at the expense of your already estranged and publicly humiliated wife. #TFM

I feel for Gene. I didn’t know where the “bulkhead” on a plane was, so I Googled it, and it sounds like shit.

“The proof of the pudding is we certainly wouldn’t put him on that plane and take him to London and fly over and fly back if we weren’t planning on him playing,” Jones said.

So not only does Gene have to sit in the fucking bulkhead, Jerry is actually considering playing Tony Romo, his star quarterback who has undergone back surgery in consecutive off-seasons, and now has a two fractures in his transverse process (whatever the fuck that is, it sounds serious), against one of the league’s worst teams. Never change, Jerry, you silly son of a bitch.

[via The Dallas Morning News]

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Ross Bolen

Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles podcast, host of the Back Door Cover podcast, Rockets, Astros and Texans internet mascot, cheese enchilada aficionado, nap god, 2017 Masters attendee, and Editor-in-Chief of Grandex Media.

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