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The Ivy League Of Dating Apps Snubs Dartmouth From Sexiest Colleges List

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sad guy

Whether you’d like to admit it or not, a “sexiest colleges” list is important for not only informing incoming freshmen which universities they should grace with their presences this fall, but also for validating current students of any of the schools listed. Your school’s not on the list? Then you should probably consider transferring or be prepared to deal with a host of insecurity problems later in life.

It turns out that a new and exclusive dating app called The League decided to try its hand at the whole “sexiest colleges” rating game, and its results are bound to piss off at least a few jilted schools out there. Particularly anyone who happens to attend a little college called Dartmouth.

From Maxim:

1. UT Austin
2. USC
3. Harvard Business School
4. University of Arizona
5. Harvard
6. The University of Florida
7. SMU
8. Stanford
9. Wharton
10. Georgetown
11. UMiami
12. Princeton
13. University of Washington
14. Texas A&M
15. Duke
16. UCLA
17. Arizona State
18. Florida State
19. Illinois at Urbana Champaign
20. UGA
21. UMich
22. Columbia Business School
23. Northwestern
24. Chicago Booth School of Business
25. UC Berkeley
26. Penn
27. NYU
28. USC Marshall
29. Yale
30. Indiana Bloomington
31. Emory
32. UVA
33. MIT
34. Vanderbilt
35. UNC
36. UC Santa Barbara
37. Cornell
38. Michigan State
39. UW Madison
40. Penn State
41. The Ohio State
42. Brown
43. Georgia Tech
44. Notre Dame
45. Columbia
46. Carnegie Mellon
47. Maryland
48. GW
49. CU-Boulder
50. Boston University

Because The League considers factors like professional development in its application process, its idea of “hotness” may be peppered by other factors, like success… rather than mere physical hotness.

A dating app that takes anything more than “physical hotness” into account when compiling a list of the hottest colleges clearly isn’t your average dating app. Just check out some of The League’s other criteria.

From The Tab:

You can’t just download the[sic] apply, you have to ‘apply’ and be selected

This takes time. Each person is screened through an algorithm and handpicked from there. That way, as they claim, “no randoms.”

Don’t worry if you’re not accepted right away

Since they select people based on an algorithm, there are tons of factors why your profile might be further down on the list. It took me a little over a week to be accepted but one of my roommates who has nearly identical qualifications as me wasn’t accepted for a few months.

It’s professional-friendly

As part of the sign up process, you have to connect your League account with your LinkedIn. This of course helps verify each account but also makes sure that you will never be suggested or get a suggestion from someone you work with.

You don’t have to swipe endlessly, they pick your matches

Every day at 5pm is when you get a new batch of matches. And honestly, they’re all high quality. You may not like each one of them, but every time I’ve been sent matches it’s basically guaranteed that I’ll like at least one of them.

Damn, son. The League is not fucking around when it comes to the Love Game. Judging from the description here, you could say this is like the Bush League the Ivy League of dating apps. Which brings us to Dartmouth. Look closely at the list. All of the Ivy League schools besides Dartmouth are mentioned. You’ve even got quite a bit of double dipping going on with Harvard and Harvard Business School, Penn and Wharton (Penn’s business school), and Columbia and Columbia Business School all included.

So what makes Dartmouth fuglier than the rest of the nerd colleges mentioned? Are you trying to tell me, with a straight face, that Hanover, New Hampshire isn’t crawling with sexy guys and sexy gals just bumpin’ and grindin’ 24/7? I simply refuse to believe that. But The League don’t lie.

Maybe they should be hosting less events called “What’s Up With White People?” and more events called “What’s Up With Dartmouth Students Because We’re Ugly AF?” Or something to that effect.

[via Maxim, The Tab]

Image via Public Domain Pictures

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