It’s Pandemonium In The Sheets As Florida College Girls Are Scooping Up Sugar Daddies Left And Right

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old man

If you’re from the fine state of Florida and are feeling all pie in the sky over that blossoming college relationship of yours, do yourself a favor and keep your head on a swivel.

Hey, don’t shoot the messenger, but I’ve got some pretty solid facts and figures I’m working with here that tell me that college girls from The Sunshine State are flocking to nab themselves a sugar daddy. So while you think your so-called girlfriend is head over heels in love with your young, poor ass, she’s likely just looking over your shoulder and feening for your wealthy pops like an underdeveloped Lifetime Original Movie villain.

From Miami Herald:’s list of Top 20 schools in new site members says Florida International University came in ninth among new sign-ups in 2017 with 220. Behind FIU is Florida State (No. 11, 202), University of South Florida (No. 13, 176) and University of Central Florida (No. 17, 169).

In a classic sugar daddy (or mama) relationship, the older person gives the younger person money for bills, housing, clothes and/or personal grooming and gets companionship to whatever level the two of them agree. It might be just meals.

As student debt default gets projected as possibly causing the next economic crisis, tuition turns into a more prominent concern than rent. Ergo,’s section called “Sugar Baby University” that immediately smacks a visitor with a national student debt clock.

See, I told you. The hunger for rich, old Floridian man meat is real, and Florida coeds are scarfing it down like poor and desperate Joey Chestnuts. Speaking of meat, that “it might just be meals” line from the Miami Herald piece got me good. You’re telling me that chicks are hanging out with old dudes and possibly doing stuff to them sexually just to get their three square meals? That’s wild!

Maybe that’s why Trump seems more concerned with starting Twitter wars than he is with fixing the economy. Because the prospect of moving back to Florida and having tons of hot college girls hanging around you who are just looking to score a couple of Big Macs doesn’t sound like that bad of a retirement plan.

[via Miami Herald]

Image via Wikimedia Commons

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