It’s All Fun And Games Until That Bear You’re Bow Hunting Makes A Beeline For Your Slow Human Ass

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When they’re not too busy jumping motorcycles through hoops of fire in traveling Russian circuses, black bears generally like to spend their free time catching some fresh air with a peaceful stroll through mother nature. With the daily stress to bring their absolute best performance in the current, competitive Moscow carnival scene, it’s nice to get out and decompress. So when some inconsiderate jackwagon tries to interrupt their time of zen with an arrow to the rib cage, it’s perfectly understandable that they might not welcome that kind of distraction.

Homeboy clearly doesn’t have the reaction time or break away speed to compete in this league. Putting up those type of shuttle run and 40 numbers might cut it hunting rabbits, but he has no business being on the same field as that bear. Shameful. And that bow? Was that whittled during the French and Indian War? Maybe join us in at least the 19th century, my man. Luckily for him, Baloo was already running late to rehearsal, had to make quick work of this chump, and couldn’t afford to finish the job.

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

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