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ISIS Is Terrified Of Lebanese Weed Farmers

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War. War never changes, especially in the Middle East, where I assume the word for “peace” is just roughly translated to “war, but with, like, 10,000 to 20,000 deaths per year instead of a few million.” The Islamic State In Syria (ISIS, for short, those “Archer”-plagiarizing bastards) has been marauding across Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon like it’s on a weird and oppressively religious version of spring break, except there aren’t any wet T-shirt contests and there are a fuck ton more guns. So, maybe more like spring break in Panama City Beach? I think that analogy works (and you know it’s true if you’ve been there).

Well, one group of intrepid entrepreneurs is taking no bullshit from the ISIS assholes: Lebanon’s booming pot growers. These heavy-hitting hashish hockers have armed themselves to the few teeth they have over the years in the process of combating their own government, which has long considered illicit drugs of any kind haram, or forbidden. No drugs, no alcohol, no women? Jesus. No wonder the Middle East is so fucked up.

So, with ISIS moving in on their territory and their livelihood, these proponents of green economic practices are putting down their pipes and picking up their pipe bombs in order to drive back ISIS and the other militant groups operating in the region. As one local pot farmer put it, “If I hit any vehicle with Islamic State in it, I’ll burn it,” referring to his RPG launcher and stockpile of ammo. You smell that, ISIS? Smells like victory against extremism. Keep fighting the good fight, Lebanese pot farmers.

[via Vice]

Image via YouTube

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Scientist, internet comedian, future supervillain. I still refuse to believe I've graduated college.

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