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I’m Addicted To Buying Clothing For Charity

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I’m addicted to buying clothing for a good cause. Philanthropic clothing is the best kind of clothing. Oh, you’re hosting a 5k? I won’t run in it, but I’ll buy a shirt so people think I did. Oh, your sorority is having a pizza party to support cancer research? Don’t mind if I do. Not only will people think I’m a big swinging dick on campus for being affiliated with your sorority, but they’ll also think I’m a good person for donating to your cause.

If there’s a tragedy and you’re selling a shirt, I’m buying it. I’m addicted to the extracurricular thoughts involved in the purchase. I can convince myself to buy anything if the money is helping people.

If the money is going to a charity, I can submit the purchase to my fraternity as a philanthropic donation (as you know, philanthropy is a huge part of Greek Life, wink-wink), people think I care. If the shirt is being sold by a sorority, they will like me more. A shirt with good intentions can go with anything. It’s a collegiate fashion rule that as long as the philanthropic shirt is outwardly clean, you can work out in it, go out in it, or anything in between and nobody can say anything because it’s for charity.

Do I cheer for tragedies to happen so I can buy a T-Shirt and show everyone how much I care? Yes. No. Will I buy your philanthropy T-Shirt and not attend the event? Absolutely. My money goes to the cause whether I attend or not.

Just be honest about where the money is going. If you’re profiting off of a tragedy, you deserve to die in a fire. I might not be donating for perfect reasons, but at least I’m donating.

Sell a shirt, make money, donate the money, and everyone wins.

I feel as though I should address a larger point in the philanthropic shirt game as well. Make it look good! Just because Sally is in the middle of her intro to graphic design class, doesn’t mean she deserves to make the shirt for the event. Most places will do your graphic design for free if you order enough shirts. I will just as easily NOT buy your shirt and ignore your cause if your shirt is ugly, just as quickly as I will shell out $30 of my hard earned money on a well-crafted charitable shirt.

So I’m kind of an asshole. I can’t help it. Charitable shirts are an all-around great experience. I get a nice shirt, I feel like I helped out, the seller can donate all sorts of money, and really most importantly, that money goes to people who need it.

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Skip Rush

Stronger than most of the high schoolers at my gym. Decent person. Worse writer.

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