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If You’re Going to Harvard There’s A 72% Chance You’re Going In A Virgin*

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*At least that was the case for the class of 2013. Still, that number is probably about right for every other Harvard incoming class as well.

The Harvard Crimson released the results of its annual senior class survey, and the sexual portion of it is definitely interesting, in that it’s interesting how boring Harvard students are. Read on to see how one of America’s most respected universities shaped the leaders of tomorrow, sexually.

The survey also questioned students about their sex lives, finding that 72 percent enroll at Harvard as virgins and 27 percent graduate without having sex.

TWENTY SEVEN PERCENT OF HARVARD STUDENTS GRADUATE WITHOUT GETTING LAID!?! Wow, that is depressing. Sure, we state schoolers may not have as prestigious of degrees or (possibly) make as much money as the Ivy Leaguers, but at least we’re way better at shoving stuff in things, romantically speaking.

What especially disturbs me about this statistic is that I recently read an article claiming that people with a higher IQ likely have a higher sex drive. The fapping at Harvard must be out of control. Do not touch any discarded socks on dorm room floors, chances are it is a cornucopia of dried DNA. Actually, it probably hasn’t even had time to dry; it’s basically in constant use. Those Harvard kids spend their days like I play a par 5, with twelve increasingly frustrating strokes.

Of those who do have sex at Harvard, most have just one partner during their four years, but 7 percent of students have 10 or more sexual partners in college.

Jeez. Hopefully Harvard grads make up for this after college, when they’re making bank and snatching up trophy wives, though if Mark Zuckerberg is any indication, they don’t. Not at all.

[via The Harvard Crimson]


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