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When it comes to talking to women, I’m pretty fucking clueless. If I’m ever with a friend who is shy about approaching a girl at a party or a bar, I’ll usually tell him, “Just say something, anything. What’s the worst that could happen?” I always thought this was sound advice, even for guys outside of my circle.
But then I saw this in our photo submissions and I realized that for some people, saying something, anything, would be a bad idea for everyone.
So here’s the backstory, as far as I can gather. Delta Sigma landed a sailor-themed mixer with the Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority, and the two groups decided to coordinate via Groupme. One Delta Sig, possibly a Social Chair in charge of hyping up the party, possibly a non-exec who was just way too excited, sent a message to the girls about his high hopes for the evening.
The result was something so cringeworthy, I felt it deserved its own article rather than a passing glance in the annals of Fail Friday.
Pretty bad, huh? Like, there’s no way he could be serious, right? Wrong. Homeboy submitted this himself, titling the screenshot, “Nothing more frat than nautical-themed sexual innuendoes. TFM.”
I don’t even know where to begin here. The piss-poor water innuendo. Calling the girls worthless. The implication of his fraternity being riddled with STDs topped off with a double winky face (dear God, the winky face. WHY the winky face!?). I think he was trying to be funny? Maybe he was going for the offensive, Daniel Tosh/Anthony Jeselnik-style humor? But dude, if you’re gonna go blue, you have to know how to do that shit. And you DO NOT know how to do that shit. I don’t think even Tosh or Jeselnik could pull off their routine jokes in a text to a sorority.
A girl responded by saying, “That’s uncomfy!” which is an incredibly polite way of saying, “You just made all of my sisters terrified of attending your party because you sound like a rapey pervert.” The dude might have ruined the night for his entire fraternity in one fell, creepy swoop.
The worst part of all this? He seems blissfully unaware. Look at the hearts. He got three. The girl who was weirded out got 18 less than a half hour later. 18 to 3! And this guy STILL submitted the photo to us like it was an accomplishment. Seek help, bud.
Looks like neither of these organizations will have to wait until their middle-aged to look back at this party and cringe..
Tipsters told me that the Groupme actually belonged to the Delta Sigma and Kappa Kappa Gamma pledge classes (apparently, fraternities and sororities do that a lot wherever they go).
The sorority ended up fleeing the Groupme before CANCELING the event entirely.
Delta Sigs are in black, KKGs are in purple, and Fucktard is in red. He was first kicked out, then let back in. He changed his name to Daddy, changed the Groupme name to Dirty Dicks, and was then kicked out a second time. But it was too late. The girls were done.
I have also been told that the pledge was removed from the chapter after the party was canceled. Good.
Don’t be like that guy, people.