Ideal Songs For Porch Drinking Part 8

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You know the feeling. It’s the weekend, you’re free of the surly bonds of class and other commitments, and it’s time to have a couple beers on the porch. When that most holy of times comes around, get the system running and play the following to assure you optimize your deck draft experience.

Fan favorites are based on the top comment from the previous week.

My favorite is based entirely on my own inkling from the week before. Be sure to comment songs you want to hear for the upcoming list.

Fan Favorite – Rich Girl, Hall and Oates

Recommended by NeverGonnaFratuate. Fun fact, the song was originally titled “Rich Boy” and about a spoiled dude. The name was changed because it was weird to call a guy a “bitch” back then. You got a jam and a history lesson today, folks.

Karl’s Favorite – Green Grass and High Tides, The Outlaws

Recommended by BudNotWeis. This song is, admittedly, long. Then again, so is “Bohemian Rhapsody” and that shit is tasty. I used to ace this shit in Rock Band, and I bet you did too.

1. One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer; George Thorogood and the Destroyers

Money’s a bitch when you don’t have it. Luckily, few people can voice having financial problems and needing a drink better than George. One part monologue and one part rock and roll. Enjoy it with some Johnnie Walker.

2. Whiskey River, Willie Nelson

Another whiskey drinking song. I mentioned a week ago that Willie is my favorite Highwayman, and songs like this are a reason why. He’s just a fun loving, hard partying kind of guy with the voice of a country angel.

3. Roll Over Beethoven, Chuck Berry

Chuck Berry, along with being inspired by the great Marty McFly, was a key figure in rock and roll history. There are other great guitarists in history, but there aren’t many that make their guitar wail like Berry could.

4. Me and Bobby McGee, Janis Joplin

Janis Joplin is a true pioneer of the Blues. Despite being an icon to the kind of women most of you despise, you can’t deny she was a musical icon. “Bobby McGee” is a feel good tune without overdoing it.

5. Osceola County, Sam Riggs

Down in these parts, county lines are a big deal thanks to the ghost of Prohibition. Stick it to the stiffs with a nice jar of something clear and cold.

6. Just a Friend, Biz Markie

This song is just a favorite all around. We’ve all had a “Blah-blah-blah”. This version, Live at the Apollo, is a real gem. Much like the folks on your porch will, the folks in the crowd get into it big time.

7. Tequila Sunrise, Cypress Hill

Another group that produced nothing but bangers. Tequila Sunrises are a perfect part of a balanced breakfast, and that reference to The Punisher is gold.

8. Long Hot Summer Day, Turnpike Troubadours

It’s a scientific fact that fiddles make music better, and the Troubadours are one of the few bands I can respect a cover from. Grab a fly swatter and get to relaxing, it’s a hot one out there.

9. Sweet Emotion, Aerosmith

Weird video, great song. In addition to the lyrical explosion of Steve Tyler (who didn’t look completely terrifying at this point), the instrumentals are off the charts. Everyone loves Sweet Emotion, especially people who smoke doobies.

10. Gator Country, Molly Hatchet

In addition to their eponymous album having one of the most bizarrely awesome covers I’ve ever seen, Molly Hatchet is a Southern Rock staple. This song actually makes South Florida sound livable, but I think we all know that’s not true.

11. Gimme Three Steps, Lynyrd Skynyrd

Skynyrd always brought the heat live, and this version of one of their finest songs is no exception. Unintentional cuckolding is an unfortunate aspect of the F-Life, so chances are you’ll find this one relatable thanks to all the sex you totally have.

12. Git Up Git Out, Outkast

Atlanta Hip-Hop is the shit, plain and simple. Few people make the ATL what it is like Outkast, and his call to do more than spend your day getting high is something to live by. Have some fun, but make some damn moves while you’re at it.

13. Keep’n It Real, Shaggy

Every good porch session needs some reggae. It’s just feel good music. Treasurers will love this song, since it drops a casual “Pay your dues”, and you’ll love it because you keep it real. Win-win.

14. Wovoka, Redbone

It’s funky, it’s heavy, and it wasn’t featured on Marvel’s weak ass “Muppets In Space” spinoff. That’s the kind of music I can get behind.

15. Moby Dick, Led Zeppelin

John Fucking Bonham. ‘Nuff said.

Again, be sure to leave your suggestions in the comments and, as always, don’t drink and drive.

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Karl Karlson

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in the mountains of NC where he wrestles black bears and attempts to grow a beard. Karl gave up liquor following an unfortunate incident involving tequila and a vacuum cleaner, but he isn't above a nice stout on the porch.

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