Ideal Songs For Porch Drinking Part 6

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You know the feeling. It’s the weekend, you’re free of the surly bonds of class and other commitments, and it’s time to have a couple beers on the porch. When that most holy of times comes around, get the system running and play the following to assure you optimize your deck draft experience.

Fan favorites are based on the top comment from the previous week.

My favorite is based entirely on my own inkling from the week before. Be sure to comment songs you want to hear for the upcoming list.

Fan Favorite: Jack and Diane, John Mellencamp

Suggested by Keg_atron69. I’m so proud of you Keggy. Mellencamp lets it rock AND lets it roll, so he’s cool in my book.

Karl’s Favorite: Hold On Loosely, 38 Special

Suggested by Fratty Pat. I might catch some flak for this, but Special is one of my favorite bands. Most people consider Skynyrd to be the first and last names in Southern Rock, but these guys regularly give them a run for their money.

1. Okie From Muskogee, Merle Haggard

It’s only seems right to throw Merle Haggard’s most popular song on this installment. Nobody can match that twang, and that’s a fact. Rest in peace, Merle. (Link)

2. Only The Good Die Young, Billy Joel

There’s something about this song that gets the people going. While most folks try to play it at wakes (which weirds me the hell out) it’s actually about Billy Joel talking a devout Catholic girl out of her pants. Power move.

3. Road Outside Columbus, O.A.R.

A little jam band music does the heart good. This track will probably take you back a few years and that’s almost always a good thing.

4. Sittin’ On The Dock Of The Bay, Otis Redding

Otis had a way of making the Blues not feel so bad. When you have exec, professors, and nationals in your ear this song can be a reminder to just do you. Applies to deck-draughts and dock-draughts.

5. American Woman, Guess Who

Ideal for when your ex’s sorority is passing by. Add a thick layer of irony (not the douchey kind) because you’ll be shooting her a “You up?” text at 3 a.m.

6. Gold Digger, Kanye West

Hold your horses, haters. Before Kanye went full psycho, he was putting out the tastiest of jams. This one, thanks to all our trust fundage and massive dongs, is both excellent and relatable.

7. Paradise City, Guns ‘n Roses

From that opening solo to Axl Rose’s screeching, nothing can keep you at a perfect balance of staying cool and partying your balls off like Paradise City. It’s science.

8. The Rogue, Tompall Glaser

“The Devil himself couldn’t stop me if he had a gun” is a line to live by. Tompall is very Marty Robbins’esque, and this song is certifiably F.

9. Life’s Been Good, Joe Walsh

While most of the Eagles had fairly laid-back personas, Joe Walsh is a fucking rockstar. The man would have been just as comfortable fronting a band like KISS or AC/DC as he was being a team player with the Eagles. This one’s great in any capacity, but I’m especially fond of the live version.

10. Beer and Bones, John Michael Montgomery

Of “Grundy County” fame, Montgomery absolutely slays that mix of soul and other stuff I can’t seem to shut up about. He even has a woman doing him wrong in this one. Country as hell.

11. Dixie On My Mind, Charlie Daniels Band

The fiddle chugs along like a train on this track, and the piano breaks make a sound like something out of an old saloon. It’s not a proper hootenanny without some Charlie Daniels Band.

12. Great White Buffalo, Ted Nugent

From the mouth of The Motor City Madman comes a song that’s about as rock and roll as they come. Ted Nugent spends as much time pissing people off as he does rocking faces, and he’s more than earned his spot in the pantheon of Rock Gods.

13. Juicy, Biggie Smalls

Kind of low hanging fruit, kind of one of the best songs ever produced. You be the judge.

14. Leaving Louisiana In The Broad Daylight, The Oak Ridge Boys

Before it became formulaic to say “highway” in every country song, groups like these were appreciating the road. I’ve yet to meet a Cajun, but thanks to The Oak Ridge Boys I know not to piss them off.

15. Never Let You Go, Third Eye Blind

The 90s were such a great bridge between songs intended to rock you into submission and the stuff they put out now. Third Eye Blind was edgy enough to be interesting without being too in your face.

Again, be sure to leave suggestions in the comments and, as always, don’t drink and drive.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

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Karl Karlson

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in the mountains of NC where he wrestles black bears and attempts to grow a beard. Karl gave up liquor following an unfortunate incident involving tequila and a vacuum cleaner, but he isn't above a nice stout on the porch.

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