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Ideal Songs For Porch Drinking Part 24

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You know how it goes. You’ve had a long week, rife with classes and work and other responsibilities, but all you want to do is crack a beer and get some sun. Luckily, your good buddy Karl is here to give you the new edition of Porch Jams, all handpicked from the annals of music to perfectly complement your porch brew experience.

Fan Favorites are picked from the top comment from the previous edition. My favorite is based on whichever suggested track I dig the most. Be sure to leave your own suggestions in the comments for a chance to be featured on next week’s list. Let’s crank some tunes.

Fan Favorite: The Boys Are Back In Town, Thin Lizzy

Suggested by bettertonek. Once again, Phil Lynott brings his distinct voice to a song about raising hell and chasing tail. Your alumni will probably insist that this song got some play during their time at tailgates, and it lends itself well to the kickoff of football season. Keep your eyes peeled for some sexy football related music content, coming soon.

Karl’s Favorite: Make My Dreams Come True, Hall and Oates

Suggested by @JoeEftah. You guys can drop your favorites on Twitter, you know that right? Joe wants to let this song play out for Harambe, who made all of our dreams come true through his actions. When life hands you a screaming five-year-old, drag it through running water. You know this song, and you like this song. Excellent for your morning shower as well.

1. Return of the Mack, Mark Morrison

There’s a nip in the air when this song starts bumping. In addition to its sheer sample-ability, this classic jam just oozes chill. It’s like sitting in a cold tub while getting dome from that coldhearted girl who ripped your heart out sophomore year. Forecasts call for parkas and frozen beverages.

2. No Rain, Blind Melon

Fucking right there’s no rain because this tune is so hot it evaporated it. I swear, there won’t be many more weather gags. A real bass slapper with some quotable lyrics, you can be that you’ll need a cold beer to fight off the heat. (I’m so sorry).

3. Love Rollercoaster, Ohio Players

Who’s got the funk? Spoiler warning, these guys do. Probably a girl somewhere too, but she’s not the one laying down that dead sexy bassline. Much like its eponymous form of entertainment, this jam rises and rises before a devastatingly delicious drop.

4. Danny’s Song, Loggins and Messina

If you’re looking for a perfect song for drinking and thinking, make sure you listen to this one. When the sun’s down and you just want some time to yourself, let the music wash over you and remember that everything is going to be alright.

5. Brother In The Night, The Weeks

Once you’re done weeping happy tears at Danny’s Song, call the rest of the crew out and turn up this funky piece. Country hits jam band music with this little bit of gold. It’s confusing at first, but if you take the stick out of your ass about it then it improves wildly.

6. Honeysuckle Blue, Drivin N Cryin

What should, by all laws of naming, be a blues song is actually some pretty slick rock and roll. Despite Drivin’ N Cryin’s complete lack of understanding how song titles work, this song has some killer refrains and an even better vibe.

7. Una Mas Cerveza, Tommy Alverson

I can speak Spanish in the same way that a dog can speak English. Gestures, yapping, and occasional piss on the floor. Tommy Alverson is a little better, because he can order beers. That makes him a serious threat to security, but we’ll let it slide because this tune is hot.

8. Say You Love Me, Fleetwood Mac

One of Fleetwood Mac’s less frequently played tracks. It’s arguable that it’s no “Go Your Own Way” or “Landslide”, but it lends itself to the atmosphere of a porch better than either of those songs. Also a candidate for “Ideal Boner Jams for Boning”.

9. Radio, Matchbox Twenty

Rob Thomas and co. changed shit with this song. Matchbox Twenty always had a reputation for being a bunch of downers when I was younger, but tunes like this one made it wildly apparent that they could crank out some seriously upbeat hits.

10. First of Tha Month, Bone Thugs – N – Harmony

There’s not a better song on the planet to roll out of bed and crack a beer to. That’s just a proven fact. If you’re really in the mood for a marathon, let this song carry you through the morning routine. You’ll be surprised how much more enjoyable shitting and showering is with the Bone Thugs singing along.

11. Spirit In The Sky, Norman Greenbaum

I hoped that the readers of this site would come around and make this the top comment, but that’s just not how life works. Football’s right around the corner (have we mentioned that?) and this song has always associated itself with the game. It’s a nice blend of pump and mellow, two words that I like to use as adjectives.

12. Roll Me Up, Willie Nelson ft. Snoop Dogg and Kris Kristofferson

If you’d told anyone that an outlaw like Willie Nelson would collaborate with Snoop in the 60s, they’d probably ask who “Snoop” was. Then they’d shoot you, but I digress. Whether or not you like reefer cigarettes this song is vintage Willie and the gang.

13. Kickstart My Heart, Motley Crue

I don’t know how to do the two little dots above the vowels, and for that I do not apologize. Regardless, the Crue will get you ready to transition from the porch to the party in a matter of minutes. Dudes with mullets love this song, and everyone knows you can trust dudes with mullets.

14. Ocean, Slightly Stoopid

If you don’t enjoy this song while you’re basking in the sun and getting drunk, you’re the stupid one. Smooth jazz tones that couple so perfectly with blues bass make Slightly Stoopid a jam band for the ages, and sets this song above the typical repetition that hits your airwaves.

15. Let It Ride, Bachmann Turner Overdrive

A commenter once said “Bachmann Turner Overdrive sounds like a car part” or something to that effect. I’ve thought the same thing for years, but the fact that it’s a common belief just cracks me up every time I think about it. Kudos to whoever said that, you’re a funny dude. Anyway, this song is great. You already knew that, however, because it’s on this list.

Again, be sure to leave your suggestions in the comments (and on Twitter @TFM_Karl) for a chance to be featured on upcoming editions. As always, don’t drink and drive.

You can find the whole list on Spotify here…

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Karl Karlson

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in Eastern NC where he spends his time roasting pigs and attempting to grow a beard. Karl enjoys drinking on elevated surfaces and rapping on podcasts.

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