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Ideal Songs for Porch Drinking Part 23

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You know how it goes. You’ve had a long week, rife with classes and work and other responsibilities, but all you want to do is crack a beer and get some sun. Luckily, your good buddy Karl is here to give you the new edition of Porch Jams, all handpicked from the annals of music to perfectly complement your porch brew experience.

Fan Favorites are picked from the top comment from the previous edition.

My favorite is based on whichever suggested track I dig the most.

Be sure to leave your own suggestions in the comments for a chance to be
featured on next week’s list. Let’s crank some tunes.

Fan Favorite: You Never Even Called Me By My Name, David Allen Coe

Suggested by Stogies_and_Bogies. Part of the reason people love DAC so much, aside from his banging tunes, is his attitude. The man isn’t afraid to anoint this song, written by Steve Goodman and John Prine, the greatest country and western song ever composed. At its heart, it’s a spoof. Coe makes it so much more than that.

Karl’s Favorite: Mama Said Knock You Out, LL Cool J

Suggested by sorryforGOPartying. LL Cool J might be better known as a television actor to some, but his original career as a rapper is his real place in the world. The man is tough and his flow reflects that. This song plus a few beers is going to throw you back to your roots and can quickly make a porch session turn into some impromptu wrap football.

1. Love Struck Baby, Stevie Ray Vaughan

If you want some of the best blues/rock guitar you can handle, look no further than this jam off Texas Flood. With Vaughan’s distinct voice and uncanny swing style, you’ll be moving along like a loan adjuster during a housing market collapse.

2. Hurricane Party, James McMurtry

Might catch hell for this, but hurricanes are actually kind of rad. Not big ones, mind you, but the lowkey ones that just spit and blow on you. It’s a great excuse to party, as long as you make proper preparations and don’t do anything too stupid. McMurtry is apparently a big deal in Texas, and a few listens to his discography will show you why.

3. Play That Funky Music, Wild Cherry

This song is crazy provocative. I highly expect it to be featured over a Christian McCaffrey highlight reel in the coming months. Dude would catch even more recognition. When you’re trying to bring the funk, let this one play out.

4. Wondering, Widespread Panic

Extensive field research has proven that this song does in fact cause widespread (porch) panic. It’s like if Jerry Garcia packed a fat lip on stage while Ben Wilson laid down that fire part of the Will and Grace theme on keyboard. Guaranteed to be a winning segue to a full blown party situation.

5. The Wanderer, Dion and the Belmonts

Oldies is such a terrible name for great music. Yeah, it’s old, but it’s more than that. How about this, old people, if you stop calling 20-year-olds “Millennials” (stupid) and start calling us “The Next Episode” we’ll call Oldies something you want, like “Cracker Barrel’s Greatest Hits”. Deal?

6. Ain’t No Use In Trying, Trampled By Turtles

These guys get a bad deal, but their stuff is fire. Bluegrass and the hot sun make me thirsty, so be sure to have a full cooler on hand for the duration of this moper. More people have benefitted from fiddle induced intoxication than have been harmed, scientifically speaking.

7. Giving It Up For Your Love, Delbert McClinton

I can’t pinpoint a particular genre for this piece, but it’s damn awesome. There are hints of soul, definite jazz interludes, and one of the sexiest saxophone solos outside of St. Louis. It’s electric, folks, and something that warrants a few more Delbert McClinton listens in the foreseeable future.

8. Carolina Girls, General Johnson and the Chairmen of the Board

This song spits truth. Find you a little honey from just outside Charlotte or Columbia and lock that shit down. Then enjoy your porch brews with a lady that’ll shoot the shit with your buddies, cook with your mom, and do weird things behind closed doors.

9. Here We Go, Mystikal ft. B-Legit, E-40, and Master P

Mystikal scares the shit out of me but his tracks go hard. In addition to his ravings (dude puts his dick on the track), E-40 brings his usual cred while B-Legit and Master P play their part on the backbeat. Nothing says “Here we go” like a song called “Here We Go”.

10. Southbound 35, Pat Green

Texas country is coming in hot this week. Country might win it out, thanks in part to the magic of Pat Green. This song probably slays live, especially in his home state. It’s pretty damn rock and roll, so don’t think you can just sit on your ass and drink that beer. Get up and work it, damn you.

11. Rock and Roll Fantasy, Bad Company

The Bad Co. comes back with a real lighter lifter. If you have a rock and roll fantasy, feel free to share it. Mine involves getting pulled on stage at a Fogerty concert and belting out “Centerfield” so well that it lands me a titty flash. Simple man, simple tastes.

12. Your Mama Don’t Dance, Loggins and Messina

Old people, right? First, they don’t accept “Cracker Barrel’s Greatest Hits” as an acceptable term, and now they don’t even dance. Geez, mom, do you even dance? I do, especially when it’s to the groovy tunes of Loggins and Messina. See that? Full circle, holmes.

13. Night Moves, Bob Seger

One of Seger’s finest and that’s saying a lot. It’s more than a song to a lot of people – it’s a place in time when you first found out music could hit you square in the soul. Maybe it’s the picture it paints or maybe it’s just the way Seger paints it, with strokes of blue and black and a color you can’t quite figure out.

14. Ho’s, Pepper

Yeah, that about sums it up. We know people in this quandary, or maybe you are, so just let Pepper give you the low down on how things are. If it makes you feel better, they do it over a pretty killer reggae beat. Best of luck, friends.

15. Watermelon Crawl, Tracy Byrd

Spiked watermelons are making a comeback and I couldn’t be happier. Getting drunk off fresh fruit is sophisticated as fuck, and watermelon already has water in the name so you know it’s going to be good. Just listen to Tracy, and the following lines.

As always, be sure to leave your suggestions in the comments for a chance to be featured on next week’s list. As always, don’t drink and drive.

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Karl Karlson

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in Eastern NC where he spends his time roasting pigs and attempting to grow a beard. Karl enjoys drinking on elevated surfaces and rapping on podcasts.

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