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I Took That Very Controversial Sex Survey Given To Utah High Schoolers And It Did Not Go Well

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utah high school sex survey

From The Salt Lake Tribune:

Are you “as pure as Ivory soap” or “hopelessly condemned”?

A questionnaire given to students at Roy High School asks respondents about their sexual histories and drug and alcohol use — and then provides a score to determine their level of purity or indecency.

The survey, which says the questions are from a 1981 Dear Abby column, is 30 questions long.

The survey was given to juniors as an assignment in the course as part of a lesson on risky behavior in dating, according to school officials. The course — which counts toward graduation requirements — includes instruction in human sexuality, which requires parental consent.

Utah is weird, man.

This survey right here is the one in question. A mere glance at it and it’s painfully apparent that it is probably not the best thing to be giving to youths in 2017. No clue how teach thought adding it into the curriculum was a good idea, but needless to say she’s since been suspended.

I took the survey, and it did not go well for me. Here are some highlights.

Ever gone out with a member of the opposite sex?

Uh, duh. Next question.

Ever been kissed while in a reclining position?

This is oddly specific, but yes.

Ever parked for more than an hour

Uh… Yes?

Ever taken off most of your clothes while parking?

Ohhh, this is a sex thing. Then yes.

Ever said, “I love you”?

Fuck no.

Ever said “I love you” to more than one person in the same week?

You have to be an absolute savage/terrible person to do this. Not me.

Ever cheat on your steady?

I don’t even know what this means.

Ever made a member of the opposite sex cry?

This is just depressing, but yes.

Do you drink alcohol or beer now and then?

Now and then? More like now and then more later, am I right?!

Have you ever tried Angel Dust (Hard drugs: i.e.: Ecstasy)?

Hmmm… Now is when things start to get a little sketchy. No.

Have you ever slipped Angel dust (anything) into someone’s drink?

This is very illegal and incredibly unethical. Was this like some badboy thing when this quiz came out? What a fucking weird question. No.

Even though you are straight would you go kinky to see what it’s like?

Let’s unpack this for a second. Why does this quiz assume I’m straight? Is gay sex called “going kinky?” I’m uncomfortable.

You can view the score card and read the rest of the questions here. I scored a measly 82, which, according to the scorecard, means I’m “Headed for serious trouble.” But probably not as much trouble as the whacko who gave this to her students is already in.

[via The Salt Lake Tribune]

Image via Shutterstock

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Skip Rush

Stronger than most of the high schoolers at my gym. Decent person. Worse writer.

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