Considering that people have been doing shit to their bodies for years now to make themselves appear younger, thinner, and weirder, nothing really surprises me all that much when it comes to body modification. But I’ll admit, when I read that a hospital in Bangkok was offering a “penis whitening service,” I was completely befuddled, and, truthfully, a little bit flabbergasted.
The Lelux Hospital, renowned for its body whitening expertise in a country obsessed with skin colour, began offering the unconventional treatment six months ago after a male customer complained of “dark parts” on his groin.
“These days a lot of people are asking about it. We get around 100 clients a month, three to four clients a day,” Bunthita Wattanasiri, a manager for the Skin and Laser department at Lelax Hospital told AFP.
The procedure, which uses laser whitening, got wide play on Thai television and social media on Thursday after the hospital released images of a man undergoing the treatment.
So, this all started because one dude wanted to get rid of the “dark spots” on his dick? Oh boy. Oh darn. What a severe miscalculation. Huge goof right there. Those “dark spots” should be worn like a badge of honor. Why? Because they’re signs of grizzled manhood. The Touch of Gray for your dong, as it were. A woman sees those dark spots and she sees a man who’s distinguished and experienced.
If you whip off those skivvies and expose your bang buddy to a pasty white love gun, you might as well say bye, bye to the sexing. Game over, son. Any woman who knows what she’s doing will turn you down in seconds flat if you come at her with that Andy Dufresne dick.
Rookie move, men of Bangkok. Everyone knows you have to keep it looking Morgan Freeman down there. .
Image via Pixnio