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Well, you guys certainly aren’t shy about asking for a girl’s advice, are you? Honestly, I must admit it’s kind of hot. Aside from the glaring grammatical errors in about 75% of the emails I receive, there’s something attractive about a guy who is willing to ask for a little bit of help with the opposite sex.
Sorting through this week’s treasure trove of emails, I settled upon the topic of how to get a girl. So let’s get to it, shall we?
What am I after? Great question J, and the answer is a 9 or higher who I do everything with. A girl who makes me laugh, works out with me, goes fishing, and is employed. I want to date my best friend and have her be just stunning. Outlandish dream I know, but how am I going find this dream girl If I cant even get girls to go out with me? My roommate is this JACKED gym rat and walks up to girls and says “Id love to wreck you.” And they go home with him. WTF?! Nice guys really do finish last…
Is the problem I’m wanting too much from one person? Are you suggesting multiple wives? I don’t think I could get a bunch of 8-10’s to agree to share me, but I like the thought.
In summation I think you now fully get how messed up of a man I am seeking validation from his potential mate and how I should “Find myself” and “when you’re in love with yourself everyone sees your light” and other fairy tale dumb shit. I know who I am, and I know what I want.
Thank you for reading, and if TL;DR then how do I get the girl?
Here are some things that our emailer — and you — can do to get the girl.
Stop Believing You’re a Great Guy
We all grew up with our parents telling us that we were a special snowflake. And while they believe that, because you are their precious angel, it’s just not true in the real world. You aren’t special, you aren’t different. You’re just a dude. For every great one of you, there’s another ten, plus a dickhead or twelve. So just because you’re “a great guy” doesn’t make you exceptional and it certainly doesn’t mean that you are going to earn a girl’s attention. The guys I find the most attractive are the ones who have gotten the hell over themselves, realized that they aren’t really that unique and are self-depreciating about it. That’s hot.
Lower Your Standards
One thing I admire about guys is how they genuinely believe they have the “right” to date a girl who is above them on the date-ability scale. Like he’s a hard 6 and yet thinks that he somehow deserves to date an 8. Well, I’m sorry, fellas – while I appreciate your tremendous self-confidence, that isn’t how this works. That’s not how any of this works. So let’s be realistic. Do a self-assessment and start looking for a girl within the +1/-1 range. You’re a 7? Look for a 6 or an 8. Sure, a miracle could happen and you could land a 9, but most of the stories of the mediocre dude with the supermodel are urban legends.
You know that shirt? The one that literally every dude has? So much so that there’s an entire Instagram account dedicated to it?
Here’s a tip: DO.NOT.EVER.WEAR.THAT.SHIRT. I’ll be honest, I find that shirt wildly attractive on a guy, and when we are on a one-on-one date, I’m gonna be all about taking it off of you later. But as hot as I find it, its effect is significantly diminished when every guy in the bar is wearing it. The same goes for haircut, shoes, whatever. Find what flatters you, and go with it – even if it’s not on trend this season.
I have a guy friend who does this thing where he occasionally gets super shitfaced and does high kicks at the bar. Does he look like a freaking idiot? Yep. Are we all waiting for the time he falls down and concusses himself mid-kick? 100%. Is it hot because he doesn’t give a shit what he looks like? Absolutely. He’s having a good time, without a care in the world if he looks like a moron, and that’s attractive. So whether it’s high kicks or the worst dance moves this side of Drake, just go with it and enjoy yourself.
Realize That Relationships Don’t Have To Suck
A lot of my single guy friends claim they want a permanent girl, but in the next breath, talk about how shitty it is to be “tied down.” But it doesn’t have to be that way. A relationship where you have a girl that you can watch football with, grab a beer and apps at the bar with, and have wild sex with? That’s entirely possible. In fact, most of the girls I’m friends with are in those kinds of relationships. She may tan on the boat while you’re fishing, or read a magazine while you sit on the couch watching golf, but she’ll still be good company.
Stop Caring So Much
The reason the girls the emailer mentioned go home with his roommate who walks up to girls and says “I’d love to wreck you” isn’t because the dude’s a jacked gym rat – it’s because he literally DGAF. That girl says no? He just moves on to the next. Now, I’m not recommending you become a perv with a creepy pick up line, but what you can learn from this guy is that confidence is key. No, you aren’t a special snowflake, but there is still a girl out there for you – maybe even more than one. So if that girl you are eyeing across the bar goes home with someone else, there’s always the cute girl three stools down..