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A Change.org petition has been circulating the more liberal regions of the internet (Jezebel, FemmersOnly.com chatrooms, your liberal aunt’s hemp knitting club’s Facebook page) and causing a bigger commotion than the contents of Anthony Weiner’s email inbox and boxer briefs combined. It’s called “Electoral College: Make Hillary Clinton President on December 19,” and here’s what it has to say.
On December 19, the Electors of the Electoral College will cast their ballots. If they all vote the way their states voted, Donald Trump will win. However, they can vote for Hillary Clinton if they choose. Even in states where that is not allowed, their vote would still be counted, they would simply pay a small fine – which we can be sure Clinton supporters will be glad to pay!
Essentially, the petition is calling for electoral college members in red states to disregard their pledged Trump votes and change them over to Hillary votes — a process known as “faithless electing.” If enough electoral collegians elect to be faithless electors, Hillary could, in theory, get the 270 electoral votes necessary to secure the presidency.
The petition has been endorsed by such high profile celebs as Lady Gaga, P!nk, and Sia, which is surprising to me. Not because I thought them to lean differently from a political standpoint, but because up until now I thought they were all the same person wearing different wigs. That’s legitimately what I thought the song “Perfect Illusion” was about; how them appearing to be three separate singers is a masterful trompe-l’œil (shoutout to the Westworld homies).
I’m going to let you down easy, people who believe what this petition is calling for might actually happen: you’re fighting an uphill battle, except instead of a hill, it’s a butte. You’re essentially a dog who wants to go for a walk sweetly pawing at the door in an attempt to open it as if that’s how doors work. Also, your owner’s dead and that door is never going to open again unless it’s animal control stopping by to stick you in a crate and ship you off to the incinerator. You also have Parvo.
I hope I let you down easy enough; I really did try..
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