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Hey Lady, There’s A 15-Foot Tree Lodged In Your Car

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There is drunk driving, and then there is the attempted replication of Jordan Belfort’s Quaalude-induced rampage. As the story goes, according to Roselle police, a Chicago woman, Maryann Christy, was pulled over after officers noticed that she was just casually driving around with a 15-foot tree lodged in the grill of her car, along with all of her air bags deployed.

Here is the picture of the cop pulling her over, probably wondering how the hell this lady didn’t notice the giant tree stuck to her car.

A few weeks ago, a Roselle police officer saw a car driving southbound on Roselle Road with a 15-foot tree embedded in…

Posted by Roselle Police Department on Friday, 4 March 2016

Upon further questioning, the woman revealed that she did not remember where she struck the tree, only that it was somewhere near her home town. She was arrested for driving under the influence after unsurprisingly failing a field sobriety test, although I think that one could have come to the conclusion about her state of intoxication from the whole driving with a fucking tree stuck in the car thing. But that’s beside the point.

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