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Grimy Hipsters Are Spreading Zika Virus With Their Filth

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As if we all needed another reason to hate hipsters, they are now helping spread the Zika virus throughout the southeast.

It all started in Wynwood, an artsy-fartsy, $20-for-juice, lets-wear-Uggs-even-though-we-live-in-Florida area of Miami. Basically, hipsters are hanging out at their local coffee shops doing typical hipster things. We all know hipsters don’t really do anything, but the point is, they’re prime targets for Zika carrying mosquitoes.

Obviously, this means they’re more likely to become infected. The kicker is that they are promoting the spread of the virus because they are now another source from which they virus can spread. If you’ve ever played Plague, you know this is Disease Transmission 101.

Unfortunately, besides just passively existing, hipsters are actively promoting the spread of the disease.

We all know hipsters are filthy creatures. They stink like dumpsters and French people. But they are also leaving behind enormous quantities of garbage.

From The Daily Beast:

“The people [hipsters] are so dirty, they leave bottles, everything thrown there in front of people’s houses.”

Any guy who has lived in the chapter house knows that living in your own squalor, combined with the Florida heat and humidity, makes for prime breeding conditions for bugs, including Zika spreading mosquitoes.

So, to all the socially irresponsible hipsters out there, please do us all a favor. Take a shower. Stop using coffee as a meal substitute. Wear bug spray.

But above all, just stop being you.

[via The Daily Beast]

Image via Shutterstock

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Harhko, Esq.

Son of The Most Interesting Man in the World. Has a weakness for single malt scotch and older women.

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