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There’s A Gorilla Loose At The London Zoo And Oh God It’s Harambe All Over Again

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According to reports, a gorilla has escaped its enclosure and is running loose at the London Zoo. I’m bracing myself for the worst.

So are these cops, because they’re strapped and not at all fucking around.

Scotland Yard has confirmed that they’ve sent police to zoo, which is located in London’s Regent Park.

Once can only imagine how this will end. When will we as a society finally learn from past tragedies!? This is just an innocent animal with superhuman strength that’s furious about being forced to spend its entire life in a small space while the people who imprisoned it point and laugh at it for things like routine genital and rectal maintenance. It’s not right to laugh at something for peeing in front of you when you force it to live in a glass box, dammit!

Just kidding, if I was one of those Bobbies walking around the zoo with an automatic weapon and that gorilla jumped out of a Dippin’ Dots cart and came charging at me I’d empty a clip in the fucker.

I hope that happens, actually. Exactly like that. I look forward to people trying to explain to the officer why it was cruel of him to not let the gorilla rip his arms off and beat him to death with them.


The gorilla was tranquilized and captured alive. But what kind of life is it that it’s going back to, really?

[via The Telegraph]

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