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This column serves two purposes: to help educate men as to what the hell women are doing in the 1-4 hours it takes them to get ready, and to give men something to read while they wait 1-4 hours for their girl to get ready.
Ladies, why does it take you so long to get ready?
I have long hair. It’s a pain in the ass just to tame it, much less straighten or curl it. Makeup usually doesn’t take me as long since it’s routine by now and I don’t really switch it up or wear that much. Picking out an outfit can only take a long time depending on the occasion. It’s better to be over-dressed than under-dressed, but I never want to be toooo over-dressed. – Kellie Stritz
My hair/makeup routine is 30 minutes tops. What takes me forever when it comes to getting ready is picking out an outfit that truly captures the essence of the night. Then, I stand in front of the mirror and obsess over every excruciating detail that guys will never ever notice. It’s the girls that we’re worried about. They’ll notice if your eyeliner is uneven before any guy with supersonic vision could. – Ali Hinman
You try doing the same thing then get back to me. It’s a work of art, people. – Rachel Page
If a girl just got ready start to finish, it would take maybe an hour. But no one does that. I always waste at least half an hour distracted on my phone, sitting around topless, or dancing around my room; sometimes all at the same time. – PlattyBlonde
The same reason it takes us so long to cum: women are set on reaching the desired level of perfection, no matter how long it takes. – Blonde_boozy
First, I have to shower, which takes at least 20 minutes if I have to shave. Then I have to blow dry my hair (15 minutes), style it (another 15 minutes) before I can even begin to pick out my outfit for the night (15-30 minutes, depending on how many outfits I try on). Then I begin the long, arduous process of completely changing the bone structure and very essence of my face with makeup. That process can last up to an hour, for a myriad of reasons. Foundation, powder, concealer, contour, highlight, it all takes time. Winged eyeliner alone takes ten minutes. All of this time and effort is completely worthless when I go out and the only thing a guy says about my appearance is “nice ass.” – Cristina Montemayor
Ah yes. The eternal question. There’s this weird phenomenon that occurs when guys say that they like “the natural” look, and don’t like layers of caked on makeup. Newsflash: if I take 45 minutes to get ready and walk out of the door looking “natural,” it probably means that I have at least eight different products on my face. If you wanted me to be ready in five minutes, then I would literally walk out of the door looking like Chewbacca. – PSLsandPearls
It’s probably because I got out of the shower and climbed into bed naked and now can’t get back out. – Shannon Layne
Honestly, it really wouldn’t take me that long if I wasn’t so easily distracted. I take a shower, and then I sit around in a towel looking at Instagram for 20 minutes. I pause while doing my makeup to watch an episode of Law and Order: SVU I’ve seen approximately 2,645 times. I decide that I absolutely must re-organize my lingerie drawer right this minute when I open it to grab my undies. If I actually just focused on getting ready, with no distractions, I could probably be ready in under 30 minutes. But what’s the fun in that? Plus, good things come to those that wait. – 2NOTbrokegirls
Getting ready is a therapeutic process. Of all the time I spend ‘getting ready,’ only about half of it is actually me getting ready. As soon as any girl gets out of a shower, the first thing she does is sit on her bed and text her friends to find out any updates to the plans. Follow that with a glass of a wine and selecting the perfect pre-pre-party playlist and then the actual getting ready can commence. After all the hair and makeup, a girl needs to pick the perfect outfit for the occasion which generally means trying five different outfits before deciding on wearing the first outfit. Throughout this entire process, at least two more glasses of wine will be consumed. The end result is as close to perfection as each individual girl can get. So instead of rushing us to get ready, just deal with it and be grateful for how hot we look when all is said and done. – ChampagneShowers
HOW MANY BODY PARTS DO YOU HAVE TO SHAVE BEFORE POTENTIALLY/MAYBE/PROBABLY NOT HAVING SEX? Exactly. – Drunk but not in love
I take so long because I take my time moving from one thing to another. So basically, I’ll spend a while on my hair, and then go hang out with my roommates or pregame or get lost browsing the weird part of Youtube before starting my makeup. If I hammered it all out at once I could be out the door in thirty minutes. But no one likes to rush. – Lucky Jo
We’re too busy staring at ourselves in the bathroom, thinking about your penis. Honestly. We’re just sitting in there, practicing our porn star faces, trying to stretch our mouths to better fit you in there, and day dreaming about what we want to do to you. Still feel like complaining? – Rachel Varina
Why does it take you so long to get ready? It only takes me 20 minutes to get ready. I am a unicorn. – Kayla Haby
Because we shave everything for your viewing pleasure. You’re welcome. – Blue-eyed-blondie
I DON’T CARE JUST HURRY UP WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE FOR THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE..
This is the last installment of this series of Girls Tell All questions. If you have a question you’d like the girls to answer in the next series, post it in the comments section.
Check out the previous Girls Tell All topics:
Thoughts On Manscaping
What Makes You Attracted To A Guy?
What Makes A Guy Unattractive?
Are You Looking For A Bad Boy?
What Causes You To Friend Zone A Guy?
What’s Your Favorite Thing About Frat Guys?
What’s Your Least Favorite Thing About Frat Guys?
What Hints Do Guys Never Pick Up On?
Does Size Matter?
What Do You Wish More Guys Would Do In Bed?
What’s The Worst Pickup Line You’ve Ever Heard?
What’s The Best Pickup Line You’ve Ever Heard?
Boxers Or Briefs?
What Do Guys Need To Start Doing?
What Do Guys Need To Stop Doing?