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Girls Tell All: Does Size Matter?

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Girls Tell All

The size of a man’s dong can tell you a lot about him. Generally, a guy who rocks a Vienna sausage (or a pig in a blanket, if he’s uncircumcised) is a cool, fun guy whom people genuinely enjoy being around. Dudes with monstercocks, though? Assholes. Jerks. Stupid jocks who throw you in trashcans and give you swirlies and make fun of you by saying “Jared Borislow? More like Jared Boring And Slow!”

That’s just the dude consensus, though, from what I understand. What do girls think about weiner size? Let’s find out.

Ladies, does size matter?

When it comes to how big he is in the sack, most girls say they prefer bigger, but what’s more important is his actual performance. – Kellie Stritz

If I say no, will it make you feel better? – Ali Hinman

As long as you’re not under average, I’d say no. We’re not going to be disappointed if you don’t whip out an anaconda. – Rachel Page

Assuming you’re talking about dicks, I’m a firm believer in the whole “not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean” philosophy. I’ve had sex with guys with big dicks who just didn’t know what to do with them. And then there are guys with maybe more average sized junk who totally rocked my world, so it’s really dependent on the guy. – PlattyBlonde

If any guy ever asked me to my face, obviously I’d say no. Although I can be kind of a bitch, I don’t think I’m fully capable of being a soul crushing, potentially suicide-inducing bitch. However, (because this is supposed to be truthful) I’m gonna risk being called a laundry list of derogatory names in the comments and say yes, size does matter. If a girl has ever said to you something along the lines of “it’s not about the size; it’s more about how you use it,” she either truly believes your other qualities (whether those qualities be personality or aesthetically based) compensate for your “size,” or she has fallen so desperately in love with you that she is willing to give up having orgasms and is probably a Stage 5 clinger — in which case you should probably run. – Blonde_boozy

Size doesn’t matter unless you’re either really big or really small. This is the one area of life where it is completely acceptable — in fact, preferred — to be average. Average is good. If I reach down there and feel a basic 5-6 inch snake, I’m happy. I’m excited, even. 1. Because every girl’s worst nightmare is going home with a guy with a micropenis and 2. Because I won’t have to fake enjoying a guy’s footlong ramming into my cervix for half an hour. Neither of those situations are ideal. Average penises are the best. – Cristina Montemayor

Size is sort of like your salary. Doesn’t affect me much unless it’s incredibly large or ridiculously small. – PSLsandPearls

No. If you’re too small I can always get a perfectly-sized vibrator. If you’re too big, well, hope you enjoy a half-assed handy. – Shannon Layne

Honestly, no. I’ve been with small guys that have blown my mind, big guys who didn’t know what the hell they were doing, and strong-mediums who were the best I’ve ever had. It’s really all about confidence, or, as my risqué nana would say: “It’s not the size of the boat nor the motion in the ocean, it’s whether or not the captain can stay in port long enough for all the passengers to get off.” Lady was a genius. – 2NOTbrokegirls

To a certain degree. In my opinion, anything less than 5 inches really just isn’t worth it unless the guy can go down like a champ. Along the same lines, too big, as in too wide or long, can be extremely fucking painful. Girls are taught to crave the biggest dick possible but I’m convinced only pornstars like anything big enough to double as a third arm. As long as you’re within the average and have some idea of what the fuck you’re doing down there, size isn’t a huge issue. – ChampagneShowers

Not if you know how to use it. Which is a shame because most guys don’t know how to use it. – Drunk but not in love

What matters is if he knows your drink order by heart and opens the door for you and treats you with respect in front of his friends. Also, this size issue could go both ways. Stop expecting chicks to have double Ds and they’ll stop expecting you to have a monster schlong. – Lucky Jo

Sure. Wallet size. 401k size. Future dream house size. Car size. Sweatshirt size. Dog size. Head size. HEART size. Oh yeah. And penis size. Just a little bit. – Rachel Varina

Is James Harden the best shooting guard in the NBA right now? (Yes). – Anonymous

Absolutely, but only in three categories: dangerously big, micropenis and average. If your little man downstairs isn’t quite up to par, but isn’t small enough to be a medical concern, you should be fine. That’s what your tongue is for — to pick up the slack. But if she *still* can’t feel anything, she’s probably been trained through a few times over. – Blue-eyed-blondie

Pretty mixed bag here, but honestly, who cares? It’s not like I can do anything about my small ass di… I MEAN MY VEINY BEHEMOTH OF A PANTS PYTHON.

Check out the previous Girls Tell All topics:

Thoughts On Manscaping

What Makes You Attracted To A Guy?

What Makes A Guy Unattractive?

Are You Looking For A Bad Boy?

What Causes You To Friend Zone A Guy?

What’s Your Favorite Thing About Frat Guys?

What’s Your Least Favorite Thing About Frat Guys?

What Hints Do Guys Never Pick Up On?

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

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