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Fresno State Student Fucks A Sheep To Relieve Stress Over Midterms

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I’ve gone to some great lengths in my day to find ways to relieve school-related stress. To my knowledge, I don’t think I ever reduced myself to bestiality, which is something I can’t say for a Fresno State student who was arrested last Tuesday. Reports are now confirming that a fifth-year computer engineering student was arrested and confessed to having sexual intercourse with a sheep.

Apparently, university police showed up and found him on top of the sheep, drunk, with his pants down. He initially claimed that he was “stressed over mid-terms, and came over to the sheep unit to beat and punch the animals.” Now, when your excuse to get yourself out of a situation is “nah man, I was just tryin’ to get down with some animal cruelty,” you know you’re in trouble. The student later admitted to officers that he had, in fact, been taking the unfortunate sheep in question to pound town.

There isn’t a clear understanding of exactly why this guy felt he needed to slip his ham to a lamb, although I’d imagine school stress might have actually played a part. I mean, the kid’s a fifth-year computer engineering student. He’s what, 23? He’s already ancient in the software world. If he doesn’t pass and has to stay another year, he might as well throw away that diploma, because Google will take one look at his date of birth, chuckle, and then hand a million dollars to an 18-year-old.

Look, I’m not saying I condone his actions. I’m just saying that when your future is on the line, it makes sense that you might go a little bananas and fuck a sheep.

[via FOX 26]

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Sterling Cooper

Sterling Cooper is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems. He has never understood why people like sand, and has been in a bitter ten year rivalry with Muggsy Bogues, for reasons neither of them choose to reveal.

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