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Are you a skilled barber? Do you yearn to make over six figures a year for minimal work? Can you tolerate an abysmal odor and socialist principles? If you answered yes to all three of these, then there’s a cushy gig over in France, land of cheese and taxes. The catch? You’ll be cutting President Francois Hollande’s hair and can’t breathe a word about it.
The French government apparently pays the man responsible for cutting President Francois Hollande’s hair a salary of 9,895 euros per month, or about $10,958 (which works out to more than $131,000 per year). This delicious tidbit was discovered by the weekly satirical newspaper Le Canard Enchainé, and confirmed by a government spokesman, who gave this spectacularly blasé explanation: “Everyone needs their hair done, no? I can understand people’s questions, I can understand their judgments. He’s not just anybody, that’s all.
Apparently, to take on the responsibility of being President Hollande’s barber, our poor stylist had to sell his personal salon. Something tells me that job likely didn’t make him as many of those sweet, sweet Euros, though. According to his lawyer, our anonymous artist is required to be on call 24/7, since the President demands his hair gets a touch up before any public appearance. That’s likely due to the fact that his hair is worse than Larry David’s. Get a load of the man’s ‘do.
I’d understand the fat check if President Hollande had flow like my man Dorno, but the socialist leader is only a couple years away from going full cue ball. Add to that the fact that he probably drones on and on about a mess of shady government things while he gets a touch-up and it’s a shock that his personal stylist hasn’t gone full Mark “Deep Throat” Felt after taking those fat stacks to an island somewhere. He’d be free to bathe away the bad while looking down his nose at tropical babes. Instead, he’s getting calls at 3 a.m. for a hot towel finish.
Like our guy Vin Scully has said before, socialism is sweet for the people at the top. When your people are getting taxed nearly 40% in the middle, however, I’m sure there’s a lot less quality styling and a load more haircuts at home. That probably explains all the berets and crippling inferiority complexes..
Image via YouTube