Have yourself a damn day, Oliver Stutsman! Way to close out your pre-legal age of drinking with a bang, and a night in the clink.
Stutsman, 20 years and 364 days old, was arrested Saturday during Louisville’s home football game while trying to run off with the single most difficult item I can think of to sneakily leave a football stadium with — a keg of beer. He and a buddy attempted to steal the keg but were soon stopped by stadium police. A flask of Fireball Whiskey was found on Stutsman. He was also piss drunk.
Stutsman is an active member of Louisville’s Delta Tau Delta fraternity.
Police said Stutsman worked with another man to grab the keg and leave the stadium.
They didn’t get far before they were stopped by police.
Police said he was drunk and had a flask of Fireball Whiskey in his pocket. It was the day before his 21st birthday so he’s also charged with alcohol consumption by a minor.
Attempting to steal a keg of beer is the most impulse theft imaginable. No one is premeditating a full keg of beer heist. That’s a long, slow, strenuous getaway through a herd of people. These two might as well have tried stealing one of the goal posts during the game and carried through the tunnel to a waiting friend’s truck. Chances are the same of getting away with it.
You have to admire their spirit, though. Happy birthday, Oliver!
Image via Instagram/ @louisvillecardfootball