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Writing out a bucket list is not something I could ever see myself doing. Much like swingers’ parties and endless salad and breadsticks at the Olive Garden, I like the idea of it, but in practice it’s not really my bag.
That being said, as long as your bucket list is filled with stuff like swimming with sharks and skydiving and two chicks at the same time, more power to you for putting pen to paper and fleshing out a bunch of crazy shit you want to do before you croak. Just make sure what you write down doesn’t fucking suck.
Now I’m not sure what the rest of the entries on his bucket list happen to be, but Tony Strasiser — who played baseball at West Virginia University from 2014-2017 — really shit the bed when it came to one particular bucket list item: shoplifting. And not so shockingly, with him being 6’6″ and all, the kid did not get away with it.
From The Smoking Gun:
The 23-year-old Pennsylvania native was arrested yesterday after trying to boost bed sheets and Clif bars from a Target in Clearwater, Florida, according to an arrest affidavit.
Strasiser, cops say, hid the merch in a reusable grocery bag and departed the store. But when he was subsequently confronted by a loss prevention officer, Strasiser dropped the stolen goods at the store’s entrance and fled on foot.
Strasiser later returned to Target and apologized for his actions. He reportedly told a Clearwater Police Department officer that he “shoplifted as a thing for his ‘bucket list.'” The theft, he added, was a “lapse of good judgment.”
Shoplifting? Come on, man. The only “lapse of good judgment” was assuming that shoplifting belonged on your bucket list to begin with. That shit’s for rich teenage girls with too much time on their hands. The only time you see a dude gleefully pull off shoplifting is in one of those old people movies starring Michael Caine and Alan Arkin where they need some family-friendly hijinks to keep the Baby Boomers coming back for more.
But hey, maybe I’m being too hard on this kid. Apparently his mom is the district attorney in Somerset County, Pennsylvania, which is where he grew up; it’s possible he’s always had a problem with authority. Maybe his real plan was to get himself arrested on purpose so he could set in motion some sort of Law Abiding Citizen-type plan to take down the entire U.S. justice system. Now THAT would be the ultimate bucket list item.
[via The Smoking Gun]
Image via Pixabay