Florida Man Attempted Trading A Live Gator For 12-Pack

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Sometimes you get blacked out and lose your wallet. With it goes your cash, your ID, and your credit cards. Essentially, your necessary livelihood – your ability to get into the bar and/or buy more booze to continue your escapades. Those of us unfortunate enough to encounter this dilemma know all too well how much of a night-ruiner it can be.

Not Miami resident Fernando Caignet Aguilera, though. Or so he thought…

Last week, the do-rag clad, tatted-up, Miami Heat fan stereotype was cited by police after he entered a downtown convenience store and attempted to trade the live four foot alligator he was handling for a 12-Pack of beer. According to Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission spokesman Jorge Pino, Aguilera must’ve been a little short on cash and very desperate to continue some kind of binge, because he literally found the gator at a nearby park, trapped it, and brought it to the store.

Drunk desperation at it’s finest right here. Something I guess the unsympathetic spokesman Pino knows nothing about.

“This is absolutely bizarre, I can’t imagine somebody wanting to barter a live four-foot alligator for a 12 pack of beer, it makes no sense to me,” Pino said.

At the expense of Aguilera’s idiocy, I think there’s a lesson to be learned here for you guys: No matter how intoxicated you get, don’t think that a live alligator is ever fair barter for a twelve pack of beer. It’s worth at least a thirty rack, you’ve just got to execute the sale better.

The gator was captured and safely released back into the wild by authorities.

[via NBC Miami]


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Ashley Schaeffer BMW

Ashley Schaeffer was a senior contributing writer for Total Frat Move. If you thought he was a woman, he'll take that as a compliment, because he loves women. Wooh.

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