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Florida Geeds Create “Online Fraternity”

Apparently a GDI from the Florida Institute of Technology decided to create a fraternity… online.

Theta Omega Gamma currently has 24 co-ed members who use the hub to socialize and coordinate service projects. Battle told Inside Higher Ed that he created the frat simply because nothing else like it existed.

Just to clarify, saying you’re in a fraternity because you’re a part of some Internet group is like saying you’re a football player since you play fantasy football. It’s like saying you’re a porn star because you jack off on Chat Roulette; people don’t buy it, trust me.

According to its faculty adviser, Theta Omega Gamma is an average fraternity in all respects minus the “going out together and drinking” aspect.

I read that as: “According to its faculty adviser, Theta Omega Gamma is an average fraternity in all respects minus ‘all respects.’” Forget the drinking part for a second and try and realize that there are people who meet on World of Warcraft who go out together. There’s more of a bond between virgins who fight Internet dragons than there is in this “fraternity.” When your fraternity has less human interaction than a Craigslist Missed Connections page then you probably shouldn’t call yourself a brotherhood.

This whole thing sounds like a terrible sequel to the movie “Accepted.” I’ve already got a tagline: “When the Greek System didn’t give them a bid, they bid the Greek System adieu.” Starring some fucking hipster actor and Kristen Stewart.

Here’s the climactic monologue delivered in front of the fascist campus Greek Council.

Kristen Stewart: I mean like, (*bites lip*) who are you to say what sisterhood or brotherhood is, okay? Like, (*gets frustrated , runs hand through hair*) we are who we are. So… so, like, so what if we don’t have a house and have never met each other in person until just now. (*bites lip again, looks at hipster actor*) We care about each other. And that… that’s what being in a fraternity means to me.

Greek Council President: (*bangs gavel*) APPROVED!

Kristen Stewart: (*can’t decided whether to gasp or smile, gets awkwardly stuck in between, runs both hands through hair*)

If the Internet didn’t pay me money and offer endless hours of entertainment (porn), I’d hate it.

  • h/t to reader SigmaPiandBeerDie
  • Follow me on Twitter @BaconTFM

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