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FAIL FRIDAY: Virgin Weddings

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Fail Friday by visiting the archive.

Ten real submissions, five photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

That instant urge to fart during a blowjob is equally comparable to that immediate urge to piss when getting in the shower. TFM.
–Arkansas

Neither of these urges is normal, by any stretch of the word.

The only thing more puzzling to me than slams calling me “god” is that they think I care that they are coming. TFM.
–Alabama

That’s because you have sociopathic tendencies.

Making ghost noises in class making GDI’s think the building is haunted. TFM.
–Georgia

Nice 6-year-old prank you fucking childish dufus.

Self-made man using pledge labor to make billions of dollars while wearing ridiculous clothes, and telling a poor kid to go fuck himself. Willy Wonka. TFTC.
–Texas

You know Willy Wonka was carrying on sexual relationships with the male oompa loompas, right?

Slam did the dishes while taking it from behind and then had to do them again after I busted on them. TFM.
–Pennsylvania

That’s high quality dish washing liquid.

Slams love it when I make Chewbacca noises right before cumming. TFM.
–Kansas

The force is weak in this one.

Hipster geed came to take my order at a restaurant. I politely told him I wanted a new server, and to fuck off. TFM.
–Utah

You’re expecting a waiter that’s FaF?

Overheard a GDI say, “Yo, whats up?” I turned around and told him yoyos are for mentally retarded people and children. TFM.
–Arizona

Another joke from someone with a 3rd grade reading level.

The only thing that shoots harder cum shots are my zits. TFM.
–Kansas

Sweet Lord. Why?

Today I went to the T-Mobile Store because I hadn’t gotten any texts in the last 2 weeks. The employee tested it and decided that the phone wasn’t broken; I just hadn’t gotten any texts. FML.
–Texas

You’re on the wrong fucking website, loser.


This must’ve been one fucked up hangover.


When the zombie apocalypse comes, you definitely save the Xbox.


Getting laid isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? Puke triangle handholding.


Get your shit together.


Rollerblades are for Sonic employees, and those shirts are for…no one really.

Maybe totally irrelevant, but fucking hilarious. Couple shares first kiss for their wedding:

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TFM Intern

Never getting promoted.

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