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Below are the best of the worst photos, videos and TFMs sent in by our readers this week. Names have been omitted to protect the guilty, but God sees all shame.
Getting a pet parrot and teaching him to say things like “Tickle my taint!” so that he’ll yell them out when you’re taking a little sleeze to bone town. TFM.
That’s why they call parrots man’s best friend.
Showing up to serve your DWI sentence with a whole log of dip stuffed up your ass because you can’t go a week without lip candy. TFM.
You should enter some kind of ass smuggling competition because that is impressive.
My father hasn’t made physical contact with me since I was 6 years old. TFM.
Bring it in here for a hug big fella I got you.
Using FaceTune on all your IG pics to make the Polo horse even more prominent than it is. TFM.
I can say with 110% confidence that you and I would not get along.
Shitting in your roommate’s Sperrys so he knows what it’s like to walk a mile in your shoes. TFM.
Sneaking into the Theta house and stealing all the house plants as a prank! TFM.
Man what a prank you pulled off.
Tom Brady style kissing your pledge brother because you love him. TFM.
That was just a peck get back in there for the real thing.
Just ordered my vanity license plate: VAPEGOD. TFM.
I will ram your car intentionally even if it means killing us both.
Setting fire to several very promising potential hookups by asking if they’ll let you write “RUSH FIJI” on their boobies mid-makeout. TFM.
You have to know when to play that hand.
Walking into the first day of class, picking out the biggest dude in the room, and hitting him over the head with a textbook to set the tone. TFM.
Prison, dude. That’s the move in prison, not college.