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FAIL FRIDAY: STDs and Champagne Dreams

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Fail Friday by visiting the archive.

Ten real submissions, five photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Carry on my wayward bro, there’ll be beer when you get low. Lay your neon tank to rest, don’t you rage no more. TFM.
–Alabama

Congratulations you took a classic tune and made the gayest remix ever.

Always putting soda in the water cup. TFTC.
–California

You are the Robin Hood of the soda fountain.

Watching a 24-year-old alumni schoolteacher rage so hard he pisses into a bag of Doritos and then eats some. TFM.
–Maine

He makes 30K a year and rolls into town for the weekend to eat chips covered in his own piss. Class act.

Real men don’t wipe, that’s what pledges are for. TFM.
–Texas

You’re that active who takes “funny” hazing too far, and everyone thinks you’re demented.

Trying to figure out what the plural form of getting the same STD is cause you got burned 3 times. TFM.
–Ohio

I’m going to call you Herpules.

Using this site for 3 years and forgetting that there is a TSM wall. TFM.
–Colorado

This site was founded in 2010 you lying fuck.

Elephant walking with a certain swagger, and using dip spit for lube. TFM.
–Louisiana

Twisting a W. quote for homoerotic purposes is just wrong.

Hazing the fuck out of my apartment cockroaches with my paddle. TFM.
–North Carolina

It pains me to know that somewhere there is a lonesome bottom-tier in a shanty bashing insects with his paddle.

Using condoms as balloons on your girlfriend’s birthday so birthday sex will involve the classic raw dawg since you ran out of protection. TFM.
–Georgia

The logic here makes my brain hurt.

Getting shitfaced in my Federal Boob Inspector shirt in honor of the FBI keeping ‘Merica safe from terrorism. TFM.
–Maryland

You are the permanent ultimate spring breaker.


Take note: this is not the way you want your night to end.


They’re just three guys, fratting hard, on a pink fucking scooter.


Pumping iron in a polo that has been attacked by the sleeve monster with your letters on the popped collar. NF.


Maybe the most unappealing party ever.


Damn it STOP getting these tattoos. Even the losers in the background look disgusted.

Meathead pitifully “chugs” Cristal in an ironic attempt to shock and offend:

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TFM Intern

Never getting promoted.

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