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FAIL FRIDAY: Have a Holly Jolly Christmas

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Fail Friday by visiting the archive.

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Ten real submissions, five photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Dropped over $500 at American Eagle this weekend cause everything was on sale. TFM.

Way to take advantage of the holiday savings.

Slampiece gave me road head, while she drived. TFM.

While she “drived?” Jesus, Oklahoma.

Crop dusting your parole officer while taking a piss test. TFM.

Your fucking parole officer? Probation officer…maybe, but parole officer? No.

What do Kim Jong II and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both died at 69. TFM.

If Kim Jong Il participated in 69 he’d have to get his toes sucked.

Ripping cigs, sipping on expensive ass scotch, and donning a motherfucking fedora. TFM.

Yeah! Yeah! What?

One sign of an STD and slammy will be hearing from my lawyer…who is also my dad. TFM.

This is a perfect example of a “my dad is frat” joke gone wrong.

Knowing I’ll come back from Christmas break tanner than when I left. TFM.

I really expected a “TSM” on the end of this one.

Asking doc for suppositories instead of chewables. TFM.

This is one of those purposely bad TFMs that takes me one step closer to a random act of violence.

Submitting TFM after TFM, even though none of your previous postings got submitted. TFM.

Because you’re a fucking halfwit.

Every Christmas Eve I dress up as the Grinch and hide under my 6-year-old sister’s bed until she climbs in to sleep, then I jump out and growl until she cries and pisses herself. TFM.

Good for you. Haze the Christmas sprit into your 6-year-old sister.

Dibs on bottom bunk!

When your paddle doubles as a fantasy battle sword. TFM.

This is why you don’t play Modern Warfare when you get home from the bar.

“Santa, do you have a roll of quarters in your pocket or something?”

This came close to ruining my Christmas.

I thought I’d do things a little bit differently this week. It is Christmas, after all. Merry Christmas fellas…

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