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FAIL FRIDAY: Happy 4th of July Weekend

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Fail Friday by visiting the archive.

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Ten real submissions, five photos and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty. No matter how bad some of these may be, keep your chin up. You’re in America, damn it.

Hazing the balls off of ragweed and crabgrass at my summer job with my uncle’s landscaping business. TFM.

If you see an INS van roll up, and everyone scatters, maintain composure. You’ll be fine.

Making my stepmom my new slampiece. TFM.

Eskimo brother with your father. FaF.

Going to the midnight showing of the Harry Potter movie hammered drunk, just to yell Harry Twatter ever five minutes and ruin it for all the Geeds. TFM.

You’re better than that (I hope).

Facebook poke wars with your pledge brothers carries over into everyday life. TFM.

“You’ve been poked by Another GDI. Poke back?”

Having Fred Durst sign my red Yankees cap at the bar. TFM.

You’re going to get so much fucking nookie in that Yankees hat signed by Fred Durst.

R. Kelly pissing on geeds. TFM.

14-year-old girls aren’t geeds.

My slampiece may not be the skinniest girl in the world, but she can shotgun a beer faster than just about everyone I know. TFM.

Ah, the elusive Oklahoman wildebeest comes to the watering hole for a drink.

Chilling in the forest with his bros all day, wearing no pants, eating honey. Pooh Bear. TFTC.
-North Carolina

Hopping around all day, strung out on uppers. Tigger. TFM.

The Night’s Watch are the GDIs of The Seven Kingdoms.
-Virginia Tech

It was only a matter of time, and here it is. The “Game of Thrones” TFM.

Riding a fratboard to Chilis every day. TFM.
-Chili’s Grill & Bar

God damn it. Chili’s Guy and NF Jimmy need to combine forces and tag-team Cali sluts.

You can stand in the unemployment line together.

Banging your stove. TFM.

Easily one of the 10 worst tattoos you can get if you’re stupid enough to get one.


Holy shit. What is that?

Play some golf this weekend to celebrate our nation’s independence, but don’t do this:

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