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FAIL FRIDAY: Frat City Bitch

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Fail Friday by visiting the archive.

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Ten real submissions, four photos, and two videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Some bitch was yelling at me, “Hey we’re trying to take a picture, move!” She pushed me against the wall, so I hit the bitch’s camera out of her hand and said, “I’m in a fraternity.” TFM.

That’s the kind of asshole mentality that’ll have you riding the sexual express to Pound Town in no time.

Noticing a fully stocked bar from afar only to approach and realize they’re all empty…break dancing engaged. TFM.

It’s not easy being a nearsighted, alcoholic, breakdancing robot.

Getting to watch the new Jersey Shore a day early because your dad knows the producer. TFM.
–North Carolina

You really thought this was the website you should brag about this on? You had nowhere else to go. You lonely fuck.

Frat so hard mother fuckers wanna fine me…for not paying my dues, showing up to meetings late, and shitting myself in the middle of the dance floor at a sorority formal. TFM.

This was gay, but I’ll party with you if you promise to shit the dancefloor.

Handing out your number on the back of your bank statement. TFM.

I usually just jot down my number on the back of my Social Security card and give it out.

Went out to lunch with my boss and ordered a double whiskey rocks. He asked, “Do you think that’s appropriate?” I said, “Don’t be a pussy you old fuck.” He showed me his 10-year AA chip and fired me. TFM.

Fuck that guy. You didn’t need that job.

Still getting boners as frequently as you did at the age of 12. TFM.

I’d say my boners-per-day (BPD) has slightly decreased since I was a 12-year-old.

Sometimes late at night I lay awake in bed and cry until my pillow is soaked, because I know I’ll never have a better chill-to-pull ratio than I have right now. TFM.

That’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Forgot to take my book to biology today. We had an open book exam. I failed. TFM.

Congratulations you are a fucking amoeba of stupidity.

When I was a teenager my mom walked in on me masturbating at least 10 times. Today the dorm room janitor walked in on me. The only difference was when he asked if I needed a hand, I said yes. TFM.

Frat on good sir.

Brotherly love at its finest.

I’m definitely getting my next rush t-shirt made in a v-neck.

It’s really important that we all see the logo. Good job.

I think we all know what’s going on here. The kids don’t, but we do.

Remember that “I Love College” song? You won’t want to remember this:

Make it stop. Frat city bitch:

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TFM Intern

Never getting promoted.

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