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FAIL FRIDAY: Every Time We Touch

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Fail Friday by visiting the archive.

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Ten real submissions, five photos, and two videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Now I know I’m the only guy in my entire pledge class that can watch an hour of gay porn without getting a boner. TFM.

I think this may be the first submission from the state of Montana. Way to start off strong.

Did the “walk of shame” from the dorms with my dad. TFM.

Your dad is a try-hard shit creep.

The only tattoo i’ll ever have are my letters on my ankle. TFM.

Sounds like a white trash TSM to me you gender confused trailer bumpkin.

Going to court wearing a corduroy jacket and black jeans. TFTC.

The only reason to own either of these items is if you’re a pedophile.

Pneumonia pledge: must be diagnosed with pneumonia before he can initiate. TFM

My great, great, great aunt Susan died of pneumonia. You dick.

I saw Barry Bonds at a mall one time. I ignored him. TFM.

Thank you for sharing, Timmy.

I spent most of my childhood locked in the basement, but now I lock the pledges in the basement. The tables have turned. TFM.


Having a dick so big that when you text a pic to her the file is “too large to send.” TFM.

Cool story, Hansel.

Told her I had Vagasil in my room. That sealed the deal. TFM.

Most people go with “Want to go take shots in my room?” but whatever.

My parents told me I was too TFTC to attend the family reunion. TFM.

Obviously your parents are a couple of NF GDI pussy creep fucks.

Nice thigh-highs, fellas.

“Shave our letters into my chest if you really love me.”

I’m glad I turned down their offer to be Mr. April. My abs aren’t that chiseled.

What a fun group of guys!

“I want to wear your skin.” -this guy

Every time we touch I get a huge banana:


Have a great weekend and/or Spring Break, these will make your balls hurt:

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TFM Intern

Never getting promoted.

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