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FAIL FRIDAY: Crotch Vomit

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Fail Friday by visiting the archive.

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Ten real submissions, 20 photos, and two videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Shitting with the toilet seat up. TFM.

My hope is that one day you’ll put more effort into your TFM submissions than your waste evacuation.

Not using glasses for milk because you only take pulls. TFM.

When you were a kid your mom wanted to smother you with a pillow.

Introducing yourself to women as “Mr. TFM.” TMrTFMM.

Total Mr. TFM Move? What an ass hat.

Giving the dog a keg stand while your best friend has a raging boner chasing a kid in a wheelchair. TFM.

Dog keg stands and wheelchair rape. Classy.



Ordering a fuck ton of créme brûlée. TFM.
-Ball So Hard State University

Tonight when my waitress asks if I’d like desert I’m responding, “Bring me a fuck ton of créme brûlée. It’s a TFM.”

Jerking it into your step-sister’s bra while watching the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show with your dog. TFM.

I bet your dog just stares at you, filled with shame.

Ending a night of coke-fueled cramming by pulling your shlong out in class and responding to the professor’s look of horror by simply stating that you’re preparing to rape an exam. TFM.

“Don’t worry about it, teach. I’m about to butt fuck this test.”

Transferring schools when you see half of your chapter has Pokemon Facebook profile pics. TFM.

This is a bizarre, terrifying scenario.

The house fleshlight being worn out in a week. TFM.

I don’t think you’re supposed to share those.

I think I saw this outfit in the latest GQ.

If you don’t get recruitment help from the homeless, who do you get it from?

You’re doing it wrong.

Looks like he had one too many.

The ole reach-around power point.

“Do I have some on my face?” “No, you’re good.”

He’s really giving her the pole.

If you’re not comfortable enough in your sexuality to do a body shot off a buddy, then I feel sorry for you.

You know why the Sasquatch has that look on his face? Because you stopped and shamelessly took a cell phone picture.

No, yes, yes, yes.

I like the way he moves.

Screamo. TFTC.

Double-teaming her. TFM.

It does not, sir.

At least he has his sword.

I aspire for facial hair like that.

If you take a selfie, please remember to put on pants.

That’s unfortunate.

They are so presh.

This isn’t the way to end your night.

Kappa So Swag

I Want It That Way

Kate Upton chaser

Chapters one and nine of the TOTAL FRAT MOVE book are online now, read them here.

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TFM Intern

Never getting promoted.

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