Even Jim Harbaugh Has To Be Questioning This Football Recruit’s Bizarre Commitment To Michigan Video

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Jalen Mayfield is considered one of the top offensive lineman recruits in the state of Michigan and one of the top recruits at his position in the entire nation. That’s why this incredibly bad video announcing his commitment to Michigan is all the more perplexing. You’re a top recruit and the world is at your fingertips, and you decide to reveal your much-awaited decision via a paintball video? Vision and awareness ratings just plummeted.

Alright, some initial thoughts before we really unpack this:

Who uses the DailyMotion video player?
Talk about production value.
I never thought I’d be saying this, but I really wanna fuck that Jeep.
Why’s he kidnapping that poor girl?
The beat drop just took it up another notch. Purple Lamborghini…huh.
Seriously, I wanna fuck that sexy amphibious exploring vehicle.

I like to think of myself as fairly open-minded, willing to accept certain changes in society here and there. But I will never stand by the “sport” of paintball. It’s a blast, sure. But there’s little to no risk for injury aside from an itty bitty bruise. I’d like to refer to yesterday’s article where I encourage the NFL to get behind steroids and wide receiver decapitations. It’s for the fans. Use real guns. Then I’ll watch.

The same should go for these football recruit videos if they’re going to unfortunately stay around (which it appears they will). If I don’t see explosions or dead presidents or you throwing the football a quarter mile, it’s gonna be a no for me, dawg.

Best of luck with the Wolverines next year, Jalen. Just never ever do a paintball video ever again. I think one is more than enough.

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El Taco

Either a war hero or war criminal depending on how you look at it

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