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Duquesne Student Allegedly Gets Naked, Pees On Girls Dorm, Pulls Fire Alarm, Acts Like A Complete Psycho

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duquesne university

There’s nothing quite like going scorched earth when you’re under the influence. If you’re going to experiment with drugs and alcohol in college, you might as well go all out. Don’t smoke that marijuana. Go for the hardcore shit that makes you go full zombie and do shit like looking like a total psycho to an entire dorm of girls. It’s the only way.

A Duquesne University student was arrested on Thursday for doing a litany of weird shit like getting naked, pissing on a girls dorm, pulling the fire alarm to get in, and grabbing a bunch of girls in the process.

From WTAE:

Collin McCauley, 18, is charged with indecent exposure, criminal trespass, false alarm to agency of public safety and disorderly conduct.

In a criminal complaint, university police said McCauley made his way into the all girls B-side wing by setting off the fire alarm. He allegedly grabbed a girl’s arm while he was completely naked and then went into the dorm room of two other girls and grabbed one of them as well. Police said he grabbed a blanket from the girls’ bed but did not leave the room.

McCauley said very little during the incident according to police and appeared to be under the influence of a controlled substance.

He was found in the North stairwell by dormitory staff, taken to his dorm room and later taken into custody by police.

“He came in naked to a girls’ floor. All of us are thinking, not, ‘What’s wrong with him?’ but like, ‘Is he going to rape us?’ That’s our first concern,” said Jamie Smith.


Chill the fuck out, brosif. Nobody wins when you act like this.

Honestly, whenever I see these stories I always wonder: Where the hell are your friends? Seriously, if you’re going to drop acid or some hardcore shit, are you not doing it with at least some supervision? You’re not doing this alone, right? Or are your friends just that shitty?

“Hey, where’s Carl?”

“Uh, I don’t know. He took a bunch of shrooms and just left.”

“Oh good. He’ll likely be perfectly fine by himself.”

On the bad side, Collin is likely going to have a tough time getting into a girl’s dorm anymore and a load of legal trouble to deal with, too. On the bright side, think of all the new friends he’s going to make at the new school he’s going to have to transfer to on Monday. Nice!

[via WTAE]

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El Taco

Either a war hero or war criminal depending on how you look at it

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