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Dumbass Accidentally Texts His Parole Officer Looking For Weed

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We’ve all been there. You got busted for something silly, like dealing drugs or driving your pledge bus around the elementary school one too many times. You spent some time in the joint, and now you have yourself a parole officer. But it’s not like you’re a totally different person. Sure, you’re not going to kick another police dog for stealing your burrito again, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to give up all of your bad habits. After all, what would America be if everyone who had a felony once in his or her life stopped having a good time?

So you want to get some weed, right? Well, that’s simple enough–just hit up your usual dealer. Oh, he’s not answering? Well, I guess you should start hitting up random people in your phone and ask around for weed, right? Wrong. You never know when you’re accidentally going to text the wrong person. Everything goes south, and in the case of Alvin Cross, Jr., that’s exactly what happened. See, my man Alvin wasn’t paying close enough attention when he was sending out his spammy “U got the chronic?” message, and apparently, he sent it to his parole officer by mistake.

Naturally, parole officers and cops raided his home and found a bag of cocaine. I get that Alvin wasn’t in the mood to party and he probably just wanted to mellow out, but when your dealer’s being elusive, maybe it’s just best to hit the nose candy and call it good. Alvin is now, of course, back in jail for the cocaine charges, as well as breaking his parole. While I sympathize with the fact that weed and coke are fucking stupid things to go to jail for in the first place, I’m pretty okay with this, because being a dumbass should be a jail-time offense, anyway.

[via WALB]

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Sterling Cooper

Sterling Cooper is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems. He has never understood why people like sand, and has been in a bitter ten year rivalry with Muggsy Bogues, for reasons neither of them choose to reveal.

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