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Pirate dot London, which might be my new favorite site based on its content — it’s “A blog about the dark web & cybercrime, transhumanism and other geekery” — has my favorite non-dragon story of the week.
Apparently some kid (as in literally, legally a child, though maybe not for long in the eyes of the law) recently tried to have a Saiga-12 automatic shotgun, which is illegal in the United States, imported directly by some sort of arms dealer, in exchange for hologramed piles of bitcoin, or something. But the gun never arrived. He got ripped off! By a guy selling guns illegally online in exchange for sketchy currency! What a world. If we can’t trust our dark web arms dealers who can we trust? So the kid, upset that he couldn’t pump God knows what full of twelve gauge rounds as fast as his little heart desired, took to Reddit to ask if there was anything he could do, legally, to get his money back from his botched arms deal.
The only problem is that the deal is what an attorney, not to mention the federal agents who are probably already filling a van with their coffee farts across the street this kid’s house, would call “illegal as all fuck.”
For one, the Saiga-12 has apparently been illegal in the U.S. since 2014. Check this beast out.
Aside from that, there’s the whole “shipping a gun from (probably) a country we have serious trade restrictions with (Russia) and paying for it with cryptocurrency (Bitcoin)” thing. As the Redditors who replied to this kid’s question pointed out, he’s in ATF territory now.
Oh and the address he gave to have it shipped to was his parents’ house.
This one right here is my personal favorite exchange though.
You can check out the whole thread here, thanks again to Pirate dot London, though most of it is on here already.
If this is real, I can’t help but be massively sketched out by some under-18 kid trying to buy an automatic shotgun under the table. I’m guessing he doesn’t have a lot of Instagram posts showing how much fun he had at the football game afterparty on Friday night. Please put this kid on every watchlist imaginable..